Jonah's ego

Jonah's ego
 Last night, I read the book of Jonah again. I know Jonah was  disobedient when He ran away from God when God commanded him to preach to the people of Nineveh. But reading slowly, i realised the reason why Jonah was defiant was because he knew God would relent if the people of Nineveh were to return to God.

Jonah said to God in Jonah 4:2

"... “Isn’t this what I said, LORD, when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.""

Amazing. Jonah hated the people of Nineveh so much that now that God has relented, he asked God to take his life because he would rather die now! (verse 3)

I was thinking is there anyone that I hate that much. No. I was thinking whether the Israelites hated the Palestinians that much. Would they ask the same if the Palestinians returned to the God of Israel?

I was thinking despite how Jonah felt, God still used Jonah to carry out his will. That was quite humbling. We shouldn't be so proud or so quick to judge others or how God would see others for this is what God says in verse 10-11

"  So the LORD said, "You cared about the plant, which you did not labor over and did not grow. It appeared in a night and perished in a night. Should I not care about the great city of Nineveh, which has more than 120,000 people who cannot distinguish between their right and their left, as well as many animals?""

Just as how God had compassion on me, so I too should have compassion on others no matter who they are, believers or non believers and just allow God to use me for His glory. Thank you Holy Spirit.

In Enemy Territory

In Enemy Territory

There is balance that we need to know about the spiritual realm. On one hand, we are to know that Satan exist and we have authority over all powers of the enemy because Jesus broke all their powers when he died on the cross. On the other hand, focussing on God and knowing who we are in Christ is more important than "Satan busting". Oh, I must also add after hearing Rev. Marvin's sermon that it is not like equal powers of good vs evil for Satan is only a fallen angel and his powers is nothing compared to our almighty God.

But not to use our authority and not knowing how the devil works on our minds is deadly.

I never had to think about how the devil works thinking that the devil cannot touch Christians. They definitely cannot touch Christians who know who they are in Christ (basically all that the bible says we are and the divine powers given to equip us all etc) but since I had hardly read the bible and forgotten much and living pretty the way I wanted, we were definitely under attack. And because we influence others around us and the people in our church, then basically even our church was/ is under attack too.

Even the chief priest of voodoo who became a Christian and met Ps Vernon Falls said "If only Christians knew how powerful the word of God is!" meaning to know His word is more powerful and more damaging to the devil than studying how to bind and break the devil.

So, I was disturbed because for the umpteenth time, someone came up to our family again to tell us he saw "something" around my house. This time it was a chinese "astro" man. He had a long conversation with my mum outside the house after the repairs. He said he saw something and he didn't like what he saw.  But the saddest part was that my mum asked him for a solution to rid of the evil spirit! I used to get spooked by the comments of evil spirits around and in my home. But it showed my weakness of not knowing what God says about me. I did not know who I am in God or more like not practiced it.  I had not sunk God's words into my spirit man. I did not believe that God who is in me is greater than the evil spirits around me and that is why I was afraid. The man's solution was charity work and more light in the garden. He told my mum to get rid of all the tall plants in our garden. As I write, the tall plants in my garden are being chopped up as the man said evil spirits like to hide in them. (Interestingly, we have been having lots of difficulty with our garden lights. No matter what we do, our garden lights would get spoiled after a heavy rain. We need lights specialist!)

We are not alone. Evil spirits are everywhere but they cannot touch us who believe in Jesus. A medium who turned christian told me that when a christian walks past him, he can feel power leave him immediately.

Believing in Jesus with none of God's words in us is to walk with no protection. That night, I read out to my mum line by line of what Psalm 91 says. These are God's promises to us. I have memorised this entire psalm and sometimes, say parts of it when I can't sleep.

    1He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
         Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. 
    2I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress
         My God, in whom I trust!" 
    3For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper
         And from the deadly pestilence. 
    4He will cover you with His pinions,
         And under His wings you may seek refuge;
         His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark. 
    5You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
         Or of the arrow that flies by day; 
    6Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
         Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon. 
    7A thousand may fall at your side
         And ten thousand at your right hand,
         But it shall not approach you. 

(isn't that powerful, our neighbours or people around us might be dropping like flies because of plagues, pestilence or arrows shot by evil spirits/ devil but it shall not touch us!)

    8You will only look on with your eyes
         And see the recompense of the wicked. 
    9For you have made the LORD, my refuge,
         Even the Most High, your dwelling place. 
    10No evil will befall you,
         Nor will any plague come near your tent. 

(again another beautiful promise that no evil or plague will befall us!)

    11For He will give His angels charge concerning you,
         To guard you in all your ways. 
    12They will bear you up in their hands,
         That you do not strike your foot against a stone. 

(my mum insists we pray for thousands of angels to aid us but here it is in God's words. He will! He will! We just need to keep saying it out and praying God's words. I read in psalm 68 that there are thousands upon thousands of angels - psalm 68:17 "the chariots of God are tens of thousands and thousands of thousands...")

    13You will tread upon the lion and cobra,
         The young lion and the serpent you will trample down. 

(Here is the authority given to us as His children. We will and can trample on the devil and his minions)

    14"Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
         I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name. 
    15"He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
         I will be with him in trouble;
         I will rescue him and honor him. 
    16"With a long life I will satisfy him
         And let him see My salvation."


Henry and I prayed in agreement to take back ownership of our house and used our authority to bind and break the devil. We praised God for indeed He is greater than the evil spirits around us. We need not be afraid of the devil because we are overcomers. Please read the bible and believe all He says about us and hold them dearly in our hearts and pray God's words often so that when the attack comes, we are equipped and after doing everything He calls us to do, we can just stand firm!

Revelations 12:10-12


 10 Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:

   “Now have come the salvation and the power
   and the kingdom of our God,
   and the authority of his Messiah.
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters,
   who accuses them before our God day and night,
   has been hurled down.
11 They triumphed over him
   by the blood of the Lamb
   and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
   as to shrink from death.
12 Therefore rejoice, you heavens
   and you who dwell in them!
But woe to the earth and the sea,
   because the devil has gone down to you!
He is filled with fury,
   because he knows that his time is short.”

Update - Shepherds Pie and overcoming anxiety

Oh this is so cool. I found a way to copy the photo of yesterday's dinner (which Henry emailed to me) into the post using the URL. There wasn't any URL but it worked anyway when I pasted it. New discovery everyday!

Henry was reading the Sunday Star yesterday and was talking about how he missed Shepherds Pie from his boarding school days. I suppose it is lovely comfort food in a cold country. I always thought Shepherds Pie had fish in it for some reason but should have thought better after all it says ' shepherd', it should be 'lamb' right? Duh. Anyway, I had a look at the picture of the pie and the Sheperds Pie recipe in the newspaper and thought "Hey, sounds easy enough". I have so much vege in my fridge that the only missing ingredient was minced meat.

I used a mixture of minced chicken and beef instead ( about 400g), 1 carrot, 1 zucchini and half a parsnip and 3 huge russet potatoes and amazingly the whole concoction fit well into my 12 in by 7 in rectangle dish. Henry loved it coz he ate most of it. Both our boys were screaming "I hate pies! I hate pies" but they liked it and ate it in the end. Looks like Henry loved it more than the boys. I just had a bit for taste and had pumpkin soup instead which was prepared by my mum.

I was so exhausted yesterday from going to church and cooking but happy. :) For the first time in two weeks, I slept the whole night through. Even Henry was surprised.

Since taking the low dose naltrexone, I had difficulty sleeping because I thought I had to be asleep between 2 am to 4 am for the endorphins to be released. For the first two night, I kept waking up at the time I was supposed to be asleep. On the second night, I was feeling anxious but God was watching me. I was thinking why am I putting more emphasis on the drug then on God. Don't I trust that God would use the drug in the way He would. So I repented and cast all my cares upon Him.

While I was casting my cares unto God, two smses came in from Steven Lee. Even Henry stirred and prayed for me. After that I found out that Steven Lee had sent me two bible verses about casting my cares unto Him and crying out to Him morning, noon and night. Praise the Lord! The following night, I was still up at 1 am but I was hungry so I decided to just eat and returned to bed. Last night was perfect, no anxiety, no waking up, restful sleep. Thank you to all my friends praying for me! :)

Henry told me that one of the side effects of the ldn drug is a feeling of anxiety. What? Anyway, God is good and took care of me! Praise the Lord!

Alvin's dad's advice

Alvin's dad's advice

I finally got to meet Edward Foo (Alvin's dad) after all this while and ask him all the questions I have been dying to ask!

I finally learned that uncle uses the following prayer book 3 times a day, spoken ALOUD and in faith. :)

"God's creative power for healing" by Charles Capp. It is a little booklet that can be purchased from Canaanland for RM7.90. I t is all based on bible scriptures but changed a little to make reference to us as the first party and to also put in specific prayers eg.

"Jesus bore the curse for me: therefore, I forbid growths and tumours to inhabit my body. The life of God within me dissolved growths and tumours, and my strength and health is restored. (Matt 16:19, John 14:13; mark 11:23)"

He kept stressing the faith bit but I really believe that if you say God's words long enough, sooner or later it will sink into your spirit man and that is when faith arises. Uncle's faith is so strong that nothing could get in way of his healing! He refused to change his diet. But it is not like BIG faith that we know it. It is really a child like faith. He is like a little boy who just trust in God who would heal him!

Other things I remember him telling me:
- take holy communion daily to help us discern His body and by His stripes we are healed
- read psalm 91, psalm 23, psalm 103 daily
- read Ephesians asking God to reveal to us His wisdom and revelation
- it is by grace that we are saved and not following the law

Uncle had a 7cm tumor. He was diagnosed with fourth stage colon cancer. Yet within 7 months, with no chemo, unchanged diet, it was completely wiped off just by prayers prayed in faith, spoken aloud everyday. The doctor, when asked what he thought said he could not explain. Uncle told him Jesus healed him!

Dosage for low dose naltrexone

Believe it or not, one pill can last 10 days! 

Each pill is 50 mg. Crush one pill in 10 ml water. Use a syringe to suck out 0.9 ml to get 4.5 mg dosage. Keep the balance in the refrigerator.

Henry and I prayed for the drug to work based on the following which I extracted from www.lowdosenaltrexone.org

"Low dose naltrexone might exert its effects on tumor growth through a mix of three possible mechanisms:

-By inducing increases of metenkephalin (an endorphin produced in large amounts in the adrenal medulla) and beta endorphin in the blood stream;
-By inducing an increase in the number and density of opiate receptors on the tumor cell membranes, thereby making them more responsive to the growth-inhibiting effects of the already-present levels of endorphins, which induce apoptosis (cell death) in the cancer cells; and
-By increasing the natural killer (NK) cell numbers and NK cell activity and lymphocyte activated CD8 numbers, which are quite responsive to increased levels of endorphins."

Take the medication (4.5 mg) at bed time so that between 2 am to 4 am, the endorphins may be released. :)

Our faith is in God whom we believe has directed our path to this drug to boost my immune system alongside with nutrition and strict diet. We believe that it is God's healing power that will flow through this drug into me. So, we do know in the head that this drug is not a cure all although we understand if it works, it really works! Still if you are pondering a strategy taking this drug meanwhile is really no harm. You need to pray to God and ask the holy spirit to guide you where to go.

Meanwhile, Henry noticed I did not cough the whole night after taking this drug. Praise the Lord! Let His healing power flowwwwww.....

Update - Naltrexone is in!

Praise the Lord! This morning we received our low dose naltrexone.
Finally! Now I understand why it came so late. Medicine that God is
using always comes after faith. Last night while being prayed by Ps
Elisa, I believe I have been healed. So, now taking the drug tonight
is gonna be like "okay, let's see what God has in store for me through
this drug". God's timing is always perfect. :) healing last night,
drug tonight.

So, yay, we have the drug, we have the drug. :) thank you you know who
and most of all thank you Jesus!

Healing session with Ps Elisa

Healing session with Ps Elisa

I went to meet Ps Elisa last night from Western Australia. Alvin had sweetly arranged this meeting specially for me and I was honored that she would meet us at a house rather than at a healing rally. Alvin, alvin's dad and I went to meet her. We heard that she has the gift of healing. She is only 30, sweet and full of life!

She shared how she met a man at Brickfields yesterday with stomach problems and as she prayed for him, he felt something cold in his stomach and then the stomach discomfort went away. She told him it was Jesus who healed him. You can see that her passion is for others to know Jesus and have a real intimate relationship with him.

She shared with me how in Australia one day, she suddenly had a huge burden to pray for Eva (who was suffering from lung cancer for two years then). Ps Elisa was crying and just had to go over to Eva's place and Eva and her family were having dinner. She pulled Eva aside and said she just had to pray for her and she did and Eva got healed soon after.

There was also another man she prayed for. He had lung cancer and both his lungs collapsed and was dying in hospital. But his wife Bibiana had great faith and Ps Elisa when praying for him had a vision of a healthy man, shaking her hands and introducing himself to her and in her prayer, she brought those heavenly realities down to his body. A week later she met him at a conference. She could not recognize him but he came up to her and said "Do you remember me? You prayed for me and now I am healed!".

So, when she held my hand, she sensed it was the same presence of God that was just with me and she started to pray for me in understanding and also in the spirit. She called my cells not to be agravated but be in peace. She saw the cancer cells shrivel and die and blown away. She called the good cells to be normal and to start multiplying. She cast out the spirit of death. She saw God enveloping me in his love, he is kissing me and he has me in a cocoon and she said she sense that even as I go home and lie down in bed, I will just go on being in his presence and God will restore throughout that time. She said she sees so much going for me and that I have a destiny and a purpose and I was like nodding my head. But she said I need not be super religious for God sees our heart and knows what we love doing. It could be tending to a beautiful garden ( yeh! Like my mum!) or acting in a play ( yeh! Like Ps Elisa coz she will be performing as a clown in 'Circus' at the Temple of Fine Arts at Jln Berhala this 6 Feb) and still be able to reach out to the people around us in the small things that we do. She cast out the spirit of grief and she said sensed I was not fathered in a correct way growing up (whoa, the holy spirit sees all and knew that I was brought up in a broken family) and God was taking all my grief away. I never thought it was grief but the things I did in life to want attention or a relationship stems from this longing to be loved. She prayed for the holy spirit to breathe His life into me and suddenly I felt myself breathing harder because I wanted so much of the holy spirit to come into my lungs. I felt so much peace and calm and the warmth of her hands on my chest and back was most comforting. She also saw God forgiving me of all my past sins. I just cried so much during the whole prayer session, really touched by God. I felt I am healed and I just thanked God over and over again. :)

While she was praying for Alvin, I started to cough again, went to the toilet and coughed more. It was so itchy. And when finished praying for Alvin, she put her hand on my chest and back again and prayed again and cast out the spirit of affliction and called it a "liar" and commanded it to come out and I stopped coughing all the while she prayed. She looked at me and said it is not her but anybody can lay hands and pray. I just need to position myself for healing. I can ask for the holy spirit to come into me, the heavenly realities to invade my body. She said not to talk much but just continue soaking in God's presence. So, I just did that. :)

It was really such a wonderful healing session! By Jesus' stripes, I am healed. I knew it when I was diagnosed and when God spoke to me and Hamir brought me to all those healing sessions. But it is really a battlefield of the mind and standing on God's promises. Now, I learned three new things.

1. Trusting God by studying His character ( thanks king wai and Anthony) and knowing He is always there even when we can't see Him because we are His child. I knew all that but I think it finally sunk into my spirit man! Praise the Lord! Once we know that God is in control and he loves us so much, we can just cruise in life and not be afraid of anything. :)

2. To position myself to receive God's healing by pulling down heavenly realities into my body. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Still grasping this but for now, I will keep asking for the holy spirit to come and just know He is there rather than to call and wonder he is there or not. There is a difference.

3. To reject the lies of the enemy. I really succeeded the past 2 weeks with lots of prayers from all of you and using our authority to break that spiritual attack. I am beginning to see how the devil worked on me. Again, I know about angels and demons but I was brought so close to death (and that's just the bunny talking coz her threshold for pain is so pathetic), I really felt I was dying and then, I rejected it. It was a lie, just a lie! And now, I feel my body getting stronger and stronger. Praise the Lord!