Monday, August 16, 2010

Day 40 of Seeking the Lord

Where o where is fishy?

Pigging out instead of exercising!

Looks like there's no fish today!

A few days after the last ct scan last month, I decided to dedicate 40 days of my life to Him and I started asking God again “What is it Lord? Give me your wisdom and your understanding. Show me your love. Let me experience more of you.” I broke out in battle cry and soon after, I felt the devil condemning me again ("You must do your battle cry everyday") and I realized what was happening. I was careful not to fall into a trap of “doing battle cry” to rid the devil and sought God’s love instead. But as soon as I tried to seek more of God, the cough returned with vengeance. I do realize it is part of the attack from the devil so I persevered in just gazing at Jesus.

Over the 40 days, He allowed me to cough again so that I can take more serai (lemon grass) water which is apparently good to cause the cancer cells to commit suicide. So what the devil meant for evil to discourage me, God meant it for good to bring health to my body. Praise the Lord! I also asked God to help me with exercise. Gee, it’s been one year and it’s been an average of about 15 minutes or 20 minutes of exercise the most per day. How pathetic! But since dedicating the exercise regime to God all over again, I am doing an average of 30 mins to 45 mins per session which includes stretching and jogging around the neighbourhood. This morning I woke up wanting to exercise rather than praying for God to drag me out of bed to exercise.
I saw the “Biggest Loser” today and there was this caption during the advertisement segment, “The more you exercise, the more the energy stored in the body is released and the more energetic you feel”. This morning I actually could relate to this caption! Praise the Lord! Because some days I feel like exercising twice a day!

Yesterday, was a new beginning for Ethan as we took him and the whole family to the park to exercise. Henry and I have been discussing ways to help Ethan lose weight by cutting off ice cream, diluting his milk, feeding lesser times of milk in a day and also exercise. Ethan and Nic started off with fishing and then eating and I thought “Oh no, looks like he’s going to put on more weight”. I got up to run up and down the hill 3 times and felt good sweating it out while the boys were at the stream. As the boys saw me run, they joined me and we began to sprint. We gave Ethan a handicap and soon the boys were working up a sweat too, Ethan more than Nic. We really praise God for a wonderful time at the park as the rain subsided in time for us to enjoy the park!

It’s been 3 nights since I haven’t coughed at night and I thank God for this. I still cough during the day but it’s become lighter. I will persevere with the serai water even though the cough subsides. I say, “Take that you cancer cell, commit suicide and die!” as I gulp down the water. But I don’t do that all the time. Most times, I thank God for healing me and that Jesus nailed my sickness, my infirmities, my sorrows, my sins on the cross 2000 years ago and I claim His promises to me that by His stripes I am healed! And to help me discern His body and what He did for me on the cross, I take holy communion (a simple cracker and a bit of my nutrient drink as His flesh and blood) at least once a day. I know it is only a matter of time that I will see and hear victory. :)

During the 40 days God has also given me a time to reach out to others to pray for them. I know there’s still so much I can learn in this area through His Holy Spirit. When I see God’s hand move, I myself am deeply encouraged. It’s true that He just wants us to pray so we can communicate with God and He with us and ultimately this will flow out in our love for our brothers and sisters as well.

And today, I start with Day 1 all over again dedicating the next 40 days of my life to Him. Father God, I thank you for teaching me much, showing me much, blessing me much in the last 40 days. I dedicate the next 40 days of my life to you. Show me more of you Lord that I may experience you more and more. Show me your wisdom and your knowledge and your love that I may grow deeper and deeper in love with you. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
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