Thursday, January 28, 2010

"Spirit to Spirit" not "Mind to Spirit"

My dad says I am gifted to see letters in the sky, sight rainbows and just the other day I spotted a kingfisher (electric blue!) fly past my front windshield. My dad and I spent some time together and for the first time, I shared the gospel with him. Praise God! I don’t think I am gifted. I think anyone who loves nature will catch sight of these wonders what more if you are a child of God and loves its Creator. My uncle Seng LOVES nature. Uncle Seng can spend hours in the wilderness, trekking, enjoying a good book or just napping and not get bored.

Uncle Seng shared with me once that he believes there is definitely a supernatural force. The only difference between my uncle and I is that I get to talk to God as well. If only he can experience a close relationship with this “supernatural force” Because that ‘supernatural force” is a personal God who is our Lord, our God, the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea and everything in them. Can you imagine Uncle Seng a child of God basking in His love amongst nature? I can! I am confident that Uncle Seng will receive Jesus as his Lord and savior one day soon. I can imagine his experience amongst nature more heightened and he is talking to God as well!

Anyway, on Wednesday 27 January 2010, while sitting on my throne is the bathroom, I saw my church friend’s Peter’s face on the wall. The tiles have cloudy design and like the clouds if you let your imagination run wild, you can actually see things. But what stood out was Peter’s face and an impression in my heart to ask him “Are you alright?”. “Neh, better not call him if not he’ll think I am crazy”, I thought to myself. Around lunch time, Peter called me and I was so excited! “Hey, I was thinking of you because I saw your face on the wall! So since you called, I have to ask you “Are you alright?””I asked Peter. Then my heart just dropped when he said “Well, not really, it’s my dad”. His dad has been diagnosed with 3b/4th stage lung cancer. Yesterday morning, I heard from Henry that another church member Nancy has a relapse of cancer which has spread to the spine. I was feeling very sad and yet I know God heals because it is His will is to heal until rhema comes along. I started to worship Him and praising Him and cast all my anxieties and cares of these families into His hand.

Yesterday morning I heard Jeremiah Chapters 8 and 9 thanks to Dennis who helped me to get audio cds for the whole bible. You can get it from Salvation under Zondervan. Since my rhema from God was in Jeremiah 1 to go tell everyone, I can’t help feeling that God wants me to share Jeremiah 8 and 9 with you. I actually cried.

Jeremiah 9:1 Oh, that my head were a spring of water and my eyes a fountain of tears! I would weep day and night fir the slain of my people”

Ps Joseph says there’s just too many diagnosed with cancer in one church. It is not right.

Jeremiah 8:23 “Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why then is there no healing for the wound of my people?”

Jeremiah 9:21”Death has climbed in through our windows..”

I just pray that you will read it on your own quiet time and come before God. Another verse that struck me was as follows:

Jeremiah 8:6 I have listened attentively, But they do not say what is right. No one repents of his wickedness, saying “What have I done” Each pursues his own course like a horse charging into battle.

Please understand that it is not God that gives us sickness but because we have strayed away from him, we have given ourselves over to something else (Baals in Jer 9:14)and that is the something else that we each need to ask ourselves “What have I done?”. Also because we have poor desire to read his word or prayer the holy spirit within us is a mere spectator and our minds are not even being renewed by His word.

Jeremiah 9:13 The Lord said “It is because they have forsaken my law, which I have set before them; they have not obeyed me or followed my law”

We have a new covenant now through Christ Jesus.

The old covenant is dead. It is when we believe what Jesus has done for us, why he did it that that is called faith that we become doers of His word (James 1:22) out of that love that compels us so that we bear fruit. It is not dead works. So, if we can’t understand grace or let His word remind us again and again until it sinks into our spirit, our works are dead works.

James 2:21 -22 “Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what He did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together.”

So then, if God’s word says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxieties on him because he cares for you” why do we pray only in hope and after we pray we still continue to worry. God said “Do not worry”. That is disobedience to God! See how this is only one small aspect of our lives and then we rationalize away to say it is human to worry but it precisely we are to die to ourselves and follow Christ and He says He cares for us. So either we are in agreement with the bible and obey or we don’t agree with the bible and allow the devil help us rationalize and ultimately we end up disobeying God.

We might already have knowledge of His word but it is not fed to our spirit because it is our spirit that communes with God – “spirit to spirit” not “mind to spirit”.

We are slowly perishing without God. For example, I would rather watch my favourite TV programme then to read the bible. When I do read it, I feel sleepy and go to sleep. But when disaster struck me, I was seeking him so desperately that I did not even feel like watching TV. Jeremiah 8:19 “…why have they provoked me to anger with their images, with their worthless foreign idols” See where the priority is? I know it is difficult if you are already spiritually dry as I was but keep pressing on until you get a breakthrough.

Let God’s word sink into your spirit. Only two months ago, our dear Dennis from my home group was so discouraged by what was happening in church, he left it but once he managed to overcome his discouragement (which is the devil really) through prayer and sharing of testimonies, he is now on the roll and just last 2 to 3 days ago he shared that he just longs to read the bible!

Once we understand what grace means, we have to extend our influence by testifying what God has done for us so that we can help others “catch the fire”. I believe then our church will be on fire again! But until then, there is much seeking God to be done. Oh do hurry up friends and save our other friends in our church. It’s because we are so inward looking that we don’t even think that our testimonies make any difference. But it does! It helps us remember again who we are in Christ and how powerful He is in our lives! Then we can trust God even more and be doers of God's word naturally and not by our strength and after that, we can "Just go with the flow" like King Wai says.

Do Not Go Astray

I just received an email from Aunt Rosie Yim and the message she typed at the end of her email spoke so powerfully to me. Actually, it was a similar verse I saw the first night at the hospital in Proverbs 3:1-2

My son, don't forget my teaching,
but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

I had the same words spoken over me by a Pastor in Deeper Life Seminar when I was slain but he also added "to walk by faith and not by sight" and just last week I cried when I read Psalm 86:11-13

Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.
For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

Truly God speaks through His word, through friends and pastors, through sermons. The Sheep listens to His voice (John 10:2). There is no reason for us not to hear His voice. It's just whetehr we respond.

This is what Aunt Rosie wrote to me today:

Deuteronomy 11:1-17

A powerful reminder to me to constantly seek Him, not just during this time but ALWAYS - until Jesus returns again!

My challenge to you friends is for you to seek an encounter with God without trials for I have seen and experienced how powerful God is and He is very real!


Carrot, strawberries, papaya

This is an inspired Jamie Oliver's recipe which I changed a bit.

In a bowl mix mint leaves, garlic, tomatoes
Add a bit of lemon juice
Squeeze them all together
Stuff into 2 halves of bell pepper

Pour a bit of grapeseed oil (yes, i cheated)
Bake covered with foil until nice and soft
Served on a bed of brown rice.
Poke the pepper with knife so that the juice oozes out onto the rice
Serve with salad on the side (lemon juice, braggs & extra virgin olive oil for dressing).

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I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me

Nic's impression of his school

This phrase “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” is from a Vacation Bible School song last year called “All Things”

Who would have thought this line would have such a big impact for Nic and truly God’s words washes us and cleanses us and is slowly lodging into Nic’s spirit.

Nic has seen much transformation since the first week in school. After facing much stress with Nic’s teacher who gave us much discouraging reports of Nic’s progress in his chinese school, we decided to commit it all to God. And then ideas started pouring in. I thought it’d be good if I kept reminding Nic of the song “All things” Even Ethan would sing along with us to make it all fun. I taught him that if he should have any difficulties in the classroom, he should this song to himself. Then amazingly, the following week First Baptist Church started giving out bibles to children in Primary One! Nic has his very own adult bible now! Praise God! At first, I thought it would be too difficult for Nic because he can’t really read but I decided to just teach him one verse, Philippians 4:13.

I bookmarked it with a magnetic bookmark so it won’t get lost and I highlighted the verse so he can just zoom into it. In the beginning, he was struggling to read it and learning new words. He could not just sing the song he already knew because the words are different. In the NIV bible, it says “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

Yesterday, when I checked with him again, he could say it right off his tongue. Check this out on youtube.

Henry has also begun to pray aloud with Nic as they walk to school together. Nic gets rather shy when people pass by and hear Henry pray and he would hush his dad. Henry says “Don’t you want me to pray?” and Nic would say “I want but softly”. Still, it does not stop Henry from praying aloud and praying amongst others, for Nic’s brain to connect. Even Henry has grown in strength in his faith. We used to observe Hamir pray aloud for his children next door and he has a booming voice! I have a big smile on my face everytime I realize that my husband does it too these days.

Within days, we started to see changes in Nic. He finishes his homework without much struggle and also less stress to us adults. On his own accord, he wanted to sign up for robotics only to find out later it was for Primary 4 to 6. He looked forward to Boys Brigade and just last Sunday he was complaining to his dad “Why isn’t there anymore VBS and Boys Brigade!”. His father looked at him strangely “Yes, VBS has ended but you go for BB every Saturday!”. That is the excitement welling up in Nic. Henry and I used to complain how we sign him up for classes only for Nic to tell us later that he does not like it. He’s done it for swimming, drums, music. Even for BB, after the first class, he said he didn’t want to go anymore for the next class. Sigh.

So, it’s truly Father God that is helping him. Even last Sunday, for the first time he took out the vcd himself to watch the piano notes just before music class. Imagine! He’s never done this before and we always had to coax him to practice his piano. I heard from Henry, he can even do dance steps confidently when asked to by the piano teacher.

Imagine growth within days! Only by the power of God! It’s a lesson to me to cast all my cares and anxieties to God, to totally release it all to Him because he says “My yoke is easy, my burden is light”. It’s easier said than done and I remember talking to God aloud “Lord, YOU said your yoke is easy, your burden is light..YOU said it Lord”. I would say it over and over again until my anxieties leave me. Now, I’m beginning to see how great an Abba Father He is. He truly loves us and cares for us. Just release it all to Him until you get a breakthrough.

This is what their teachers look like?
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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Tricks of a Chinese Medium

During the Full Gospel Brethren Business Men’s Meeting at Ebenezer, Jln Gereja yesterday, I met Gabriel who used to be a drug addict and a medium. His testimony is so powerful as to the real happenings, behind the scenes of a medium. He said all mediums know that when they die they will go to HELL! What?! Who in their right mind would want to go to hell?

He said he used to do drugs and he became a medium. He told us how the magic that his clients see are all tricks as in it can be done scientifically. He gave us examples of making a rock float or changing the water black or making a needle move on the egg. They are all tricks. He said if the water changes black and he tells his client that she has cancer, his client would then be afraid. He would earn about RM1,700 to RM2,000 each visit that would then be used to fund his addiction.

When the doctor told him he had only 3 months to live, he was afraid because he knows he was going to hell. He was out of money then and entered a halfway house for drug addicts just so he had a place to stay. He was asked to read the bible for an hour everyday. Having nothing to do, he complied. As he read the bible over many times, he felt unforgiveness go. He felt anger left him. He felt pride left him!

Hamir who was the speaker at the meeting shared yesterday that we don’t realize this but as we read the bible, we are being cleansed. We are being washed! Imagine, no need to pay thousands of ringgit for therapy or rehabilitation, only by the word of God….because there is POWER in the word of God.

Anyway, in continuing with Gabriel's story, after he left the half way house he rented a small room for RM200 and there was a plank wall dividing the room and the living room where the altar was placed. As he started to pray in tongues in his room, the tablets on the altar started falling one by one! 4 to 5 in total! Wow! The Landlord told him he can’t live in his house any longer.

He shared how as a medium then, when a Christian passes by, evil spirits would leave his body and he would not be able to carry out his work! He shared how several Christian children were playing around the Chinese shrine and he found out later the “datuk” left the shrine! One day, he asked his friends, “Why are you praying to “Kwai Koong”. You know he is a devil right?”. They replied “WE KNOW but if we don’t he will disturb us”. He challenged them. If you allow me to bring down “Kwai Koong” and destroy it, I will prove to you no harm will befall me. So, they allowed him to do it and indeed nothing happened to him. That day 10 of his friends received Jesus as their Lord and savior and was saved.

Hamir reminded us that we as Christians ought to know who we are in Christ and all that is written in the bible. He led us to Daniel 3 where Daniel’s three friends said to King Nebuchadnezzar when cornered that if they did not bow down to the golden image that he has made, they will thrown into the blazing furnace. The three friends replied “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If that is the case, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand O King. But IF NOT, let it be known to you, o King that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up”.

They were bound and thrown into the fiery furnace (made 7 times hotter than usual because the king was very angry) and the King saw with his own eyes 4 men walking in the furnace, the fourth is like the son of God. And the King decreed that anyone that speaks against the God of these three men will be cut in pieces and their houses shall be made like an ash heap, because there is no other God who can deliver like this.

Hamir challenged us “HOW FAR ARE YOU WILLING TO GO FOR GOD?” like Gabriel who continues to tell his story of how God brought him out of darkness into light and who yesterday, touched my life and I am sharing with you today.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Farewell Robert Lam

Our dear Robert Lam returned home to the Lord on Saturday, 23 January 2010 at 5.15 am. I heard for the first time he could sleep well and he passed away in his sleep. I got home last night after the wake at 11pm and Ethan asked about church. I said it was very happy with lots of colorful balloons and one of them had “GOD” on it. There was a choir singing with guitars, drums, piano and violins playing and the church was filled with people.

Elaine asked me to share at the wake last night at First Baptist Church. I did not get an opportunity not that I was brave too anyway but here would be a little sharing from me.
Unlike Mike who had known Robert for 20 plus years, I did not know Robert personally. I did not know whether he was married. I did not know his children. I did not know he had a sense of humour. I knew he was serving in the International Student Ministry and was previously a well known newscaster. What compelled me to share with Robert on 6 November 2009 was the hope in Christ for healing because God in his mercy and loving kindness, healed me from Stage 4 lung cancer which had already then gone to the liver and bones including pelvic bone and skull. With one tarceva tablet 3 weeks after diagnosis, all the pain went away and I was more alert. Please understand by then, the nutrients had not kicked in yet as we took 3 weeks to decide on a strategy (chemo or nutrients; nutrients and chemo etc). Medically, even the doctor said it is impossible for all the pain to go away with just one tablet!

I shared with the logos word (the word of God for everyone) and it shows clearly that God wants to heal us, that is His will until He tells you otherwise in His rhema to you. Rhema is God’s word directly to you whether an impression or vision or from God’s word. I shared with him to continue soaking in God’s word for that rhema. After Ps Sasha, Ps Chris, Elaine and I laid hands to pray for him for his healing on 6 November 2009, we told him to just rest. But he said “How can I? I am so filled with with…”. Words cannot express that moment. He also felt that God would grant him 10 years more to live and we told Him to just hang on to that promise.

In his last days, the tables were turned and even in his dying moments, Robert showed me what it was to be an overcomer. When Jesus died on the cross, he took away our sorrows, our infirmities, our sins. He took the punishment for us on the cross so that we may have joy. So that we may be healthy. So that our sins are forgiven – past present and future. The stripes He bore for us and the body He broke for us was for our healing. And by His wounds we are healed. We are overcomers!

Isaiah 53:4,5
4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

Not just spiritually healed. Look at all the miracles Jesus did, it was physical as well. Not just spiritually and physically only but also mentally and emotionally for those who are depressed and in need of inner healing as well. That’s the fulfillment of Isaiah 53:4,5. We don’t know why God heals only some but God is in total control for the greater purpose in all His loving kindness and sovereignty. But until He gives the person directly the rhema, we have His logos word to stand on.

Robert showed me to the very last moment he had no fear of death. He showed to me he is an overcomer even in his fallen state. Death has lost its sting even while he was alive. As cousin Jean put it, his spirit and body was not in sync. His spirit was so alive and still claiming for those 10 years for which we were rallying behind him but his body was as good as gone. It was not my desire but Robert's desire. Prathab, Chor Hon, Ps Lydia, Ps Joseph, Uncle Allen all are witnesses to this.

I am glad we did not give up on God’s deliverance. As Ps Looi put it well, God may not have delivered him physically, but He has definitely delivered him spiritually. It is written Romans 8: "17, Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.18I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

My pain and struggle was grasping between logos and rhema. Because I am not Robert I will never know what rhema he received from God or what the desire of His heart truly is. Still, I believe God spoke to him personally as Jean told me that the Wednesday before he passed away he said “I have not long more to go” and in the wake I understand he asked for his funeral service to be a celebration.

On my part, I have told my story. Like the beautiful sermon I heard yesterday morning regarding Mark 5: 1-20, it depends which angle you are listening to a story. Some may rejoice, some may reject it. When I received God’s calling to just go and tell everyone on the first night at the hospital on 30 June 2009 and that He would give me His words to put in my mouth, He was right. I am really not the sort of person that do hospital visits and definitely not to people I am not familiar with.

But God has put a compassion in my heart for people who need to know the healing they can claim. It wasn’t difficult at all, it’s amazing I must say how God leads me step by step. I thank Steven Lee for his encouraging words and the story of Abraham. Abraham still went ahead to sacrifice his son Isaac even though his wife called him to stop. He obeyed God and God saw his heart. God saw Robert’s heart and God saw my heart. It was a step of faith for both of us, both on our own journey. He’s with God now, a much much better place and we can rejoice with Robert for the victory won!

I also learned that the reason why God does not heal even though we stand on His promises is because perfection will come when Jesus returns again. As Soo Inn shared with me “God’s rule has begun but job is completely finished when Jesus comes back again to renew everything completely. We expect God to do great things today but perfection awaits His return.”

With this knowledge, my faith will not be shaken because He and only He knows of His higher purpose and that is to bring as many back to Him as possible. I will continue to stand on His logos word to us. You see, if we did not believe the bible, if we are not in agreement with the bible, we will have to plead God to be merciful for healing on a case by case basis. The whole time, we will be on our knees praying for God to be merciful. Yet, there’s just so many scriptures in the bible for healing and to be confident in Him. We can be confident in Him. He tells us to come boldly to His throne of grace. He tells us nothing is impossible. He tells us “14This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us”. This is His logos word to all of us. And until rhema comes to that person whom we are praying for, we are to stand in confidence for the healing because that is His logos will for us.

As you read, you probably can sense the struggle I face but that is part of the journey of learning and discovering God. Ps Looi is right when he said we are to be responsible for our belief. If we are too traditional, then we have to be responsible for the lack of miracles in our lives and if we are too charismatic then we have to pay the consequence of being too prosperity conscious.

Thank you Robert Lam for teaching me and showing me what and overcomer you are even when alive that death had no hold on you. You had no fear even though you confidently claimed that 10 years to testify of God's wondrous deeds.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Praying for Creative Miracle for Robert!

As I write, I am so filled with the holy spirit and shaking with excitement! It has just begun to rain as I reached home after meeting Robert Lam with Uncle Allen at the hospital just now. There is thunder and lightning out there now! Lots of thunder and I can imagine God parting heaven and coming down to Robert Lam’s rescue right now. Wow! Hear that thunder! God’s angry! With blazing nostril, God’s surfing on dark clouds and coming down to destroy all the cancer, the spirit of death. Oh yes!

I witnessed today the work of the holy spirit! As I brought Uncle Allen to meet Robert, I wasn’t sure what I was going to say to Robert because I had already met him on Wednesday. On Wednesday, I asked Robert whether he was still holding on to God’s promise to him for the 10 years and he gave an affirmative yes!

Uncle Allen just said he will just see how the holy spirit prompts him. He asked whether Robert would be in a private room and I said that he was sharing the room with 3 others.
When we got to 9th floor of the main building at University Hospital, he wasn’t there. Oh no! What happened? The nurses said he has been transferred to the 6th floor of Menara Timur. Apparently, he’s there so that they could administer tranquiliser to him and I thought oh no, it can’t be good.

Robert said he could not talk much and I told him he didn’t have to speak much and just to rest. This time he did not have his oxygen mask but oxygen tube into his nostrils. He has a nicer room and a single room too! So he closed his eyes. I was wondering what’s going to happen next because Uncle Allen said we’ll go with the holy spirit. After a long silence, finally Uncle Allen asked his age. He wasn’t sure what he would say at first but after seeing Robert and meeting him he said to Robert that he sensed he had many more years to live. In short he asked if he was prepared to live and testify to other cancer patients around the world and Robert was so confident that he will live to testify of how God has brought him out. Uncle Allen said he felt God holding him back and only wanted him to visit Robert today. Incidentally today’s the last day the doctor has given Robert to live. Imagine, today’s the day.

He also shared with Robert about Abraham having to plunge the knife into his son Isaac and at that last moment God stopped him. It’s that last moment that God is waiting for. God wants to ensure that all glory would go to him, that when Robert is healed, it is not the medicine or nutrients or surgery etc but Him alone. We started laying hands on Robert to pray and to ask God a creative miracle, to ask God for new body parts for him. And all that time Robert’s faith was getting stronger and stronger and he was holding me so tightly. I praised God for every affirmative word that came out from Robert’s mouth. One time he even mentioned – “To prove them wrong”. For someone who could not say much, he spoke much for Christ! Praise God! Praise God!

Then, suddenly, Uncle Allen said, we’ll come back tomorrow at 10am. There will be a worship session for him at 10 am together with members of the second chance ministry. It will be a very powerful ministry which God will want to use Robert because he would be a testimony like Lazarus raised from the dead. Uncle Allen said as he spoke, his hair is standing and after he left the room with me, he said his whole body was trembling. So was I and as I shared with my mum later and hugged her, she also shivered and said “I claim it!”. Praise God! Praise God!
So, friends, please pray for Robert Lam. Please pray for his healing, that God will spare his life not for extension of life but to serve God in this second chance ministry to give hope to many people diagnosed with cancer, that they might find hope in our living God! Jane who was beside us said he would be a new Robert and she would be by his side serving him. We also spoke life over his family, that it will be a new family, harmonious and united and all serving God along side Robert as well.

My heart is beating so fast as I write this. When I pray, I look away as I imagine I lay hands on Robert and I look away because it is God’s awesome glory that will come down to heal Robert. So awesome, I can’t bear to see – not anything we did – we are just God’s servants. And you can pray wherever you are too because in the heavenly realm, there is no distance. Pray that God will perform a creative miracle on Robert Lam for His glory!

Please pray in one voice for Robert Lam and it was my mum and Uncle Allen that pointed out the paraplegic who could not get into the house where Jesus was for healing. So, his friends helped ease him in from the roof into the house. We are his friends, so let’s lower him down to Jesus together. Let’s declare together Ps 118:17 that Robert Lam will not die but LIVE to PROCLAIM God’s wondrous deeds and confess together with Robert Lam “By Jesus stripes, Robert Lam is healed”.

All glory to God!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Update - Monsoon Period

Henry and I were very encouraged by yesterday's visit to Dr Foo at SJMC. Originally there was no x ray scheduled but in the end, Dr Foo asked for an x ray and blood test over and above the bone treatment. As usual, Henry dug into the report after the x ray report was out. Henry was all smiles. We were very encouraged as the lesions appear less dense and diminished. Dr Foo said "Nothing much really. We just observe". Also I have been given one month free Tarceva as part of the company promotion. This will be a saving of RM8,500.00 to us! Praise the Lord!

As for the expected “finding the vein” trauma, there was none but smooth execution of the line. I praised the nurse since I felt no pain at all but she said it’s because she used a small needle. I know it’s really her expertise and God’s hand upon her as I have experienced before the nurse’s inability to find my vein! For the first time, the nurse used proper transluscent plasters to hold down the needle and other plasters to keep the line in place. It was a really good job! Oh praise God indeed!

I was a tad disappointed that it was not God’s will that I be taken off tarceva. But His word from Jeremiah 29:11 really spoke to me yesterday “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.

“…and not to harm you” These few words warmed my heart because God has assured me that even though I think that Tarceva is poisonous to me He will not let it harm me. Also, it just occurred to me a few days ago of his plan to let me rest in Him. It has been 6 months since my first diagnosis and during this time, I’ve learned so much, discovered God again, discovering grace again through Jesus Christ and now just learning to rest in Him. The fact that Deeper Life Seminar II will take 2 months to complete (I have recently signed up for it) shows of God’s further plans for me.

I asked Henry “What’s equivalent to winter in Malaysia that is considered a time of rest?” and his reply was “Monsoon”. Huh? But that’s destructive. How can we possibly rest during monsoon? But it’s true, just as winter is a time for trees (after harvest period) to rest before bearing fruits again, so then monsoon is a time for the sea to replenish when the fishermen are no longer at sea. It is time for the fishermen to seek shelter from the wind and seek refuge from the storm.

I feel God is saying to me to just rest in Him and find Him all over again so that when the time is right, I will go out and bear fruits for His kingdom. Just as God does not expect the sea to provide fish to the people during monsoon period, so then, I too should not expect to bear fruits during this period but just learn to rest in Him whilst I seek shelter and refuge in Him.

God has a purpose and a reason for this rest period and I should just trust in Him and not hurry God.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Armchair Archaelogist!

I have adrenalin rush just watching documentary on archaeology and going to the following two websites. There’s a term for people like me – armchair archaeologist! - Archaelogist Aren M Maeir, a biblical archaelogist has a weblog informing you of findings sometimes not even published yet. Really exciting! Like being part of an archaelogical team! - gives you a virtual tour of the City of David

I caught 2 documentaries on King David on History channel recently and it got me really excited about archaelogy again! It’s such a coincidence that I managed to watch these documentaries – imagine, just right after my article “The Christmas Story Foretold”. I really believe God had a hand in it and He must have wanted me to share these findings with you.

One of the documentaries was about whether King David was a mythical figure. How can that he be mythical? So many facts appear today e.g. existence of Bethlehem, Jesus, Israel, Philistine or the similarity of the topography. The bible itself is a book of recordings of people’s testimonies. It has so much detail right down to names of Jesus’ lineage, names of Kings, names of wives, children, no of years ruled, how big the armies were etc.

Apparently it was not until 15 years ago that someone discovered archaelogical evidence of a black basalt stele now called Tel Dan Stele. It was discovered during excavations at Tel Dan in Israel in 1993/1994. It was erected by an Aramaean king and contains an inscription commemorating victories and had insciptions including "Israel" and the "House of David."

The inscriptions caused much excitement amongst biblical scholars and archaeologists because one of the inscriptions are identical to the word "House of David" in Hebrew. If these letters refer to the Davidic line then this is the first time the name "David" has been recognized at any archaeological site. The scholarly consensus among archaeologists and epigraphers is that the fragment is an authentic reference to the Biblical King David.

The other evidence for the existence of King David were findings of topography similar to Gath in the bible, the underground cave possibly used by David to hide in (and not just fictional writings), the water tunnel possibly used by King David to attack the Jebusites (they actually filmed the narrow water tunnels leading into the city behind the unpenetrable walls).

All this is really exciting because it confirms that the bible is not fiction, that God played a part in our history as documented by various people over a long period of time. I’m so excited about this discovery because I can follow these websites on a regular basis on archaelogical findings in Israel without actually going to Israel. Cool!

Update - Pray Tarceva No More!

My check up at SJMC with Dr Foo Yoke Ching is tomorrow morning. There has been no x ray or ct scan scheduled. I guess I have recovered so well the doctor does not know what to do with me. :) I would have taken 6 months of Tarceva (chemo drugs) and that may be the duration of the course I am suppose to take. It is subjective though depending how well a person reacts to the drug. That's why I have to be scanned every 3 months.

I do have the bone drug administration on tomorrow called Zumita. That is to strengthen my bones. It is administered through a drip so I am not looking forward to "finding the vein" again.

I have a bit of sniffles but it has no power and no dominion over me. I was sneezing continuously this morning and decided to pray in tongues and just commit the "ha chooos" to the Lord. For that moment I prayed in tongues, it stopped although the nose was still a wee bit ticklish.

Other than the above, I feel strong and energetic and perfectly normal! Praise the Lord! All glory and honour to Him, our supernatural God who delivers us when we call upon Him!

I have a specific prayer which I pray you will pray along with me. I shared that about a month or more ago, I had sensed that I didn't need to take tarceva anymore and then I got hit by the 3 week "attack" of fever/lack of energy/stiff neck. Last week, I sensed it again. So my specific prayer to God is that if I do not need to take the tarceva anymore, please say it through my doctor as confirmation!

Yes, I pray for God's confirmation through the doctor that I will not need to take Tarceva anymore. That I am free! That I am completely healed! Thank you Jesus for healing me and for your confirmation. I receive it in faith in Jesus' name. Amen.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Hummus and Salad

Gee, mummy will be proud of me today. :) I've been on my own for the past 2 weeks and mum has been so worried that I won't have enough raw vege in my diet!

Boiled potatoes
pink guava
mint leaves
some leafy plant from the garden (ha ha I don't even know what I am eating)

chick peas
lemon juice
olive oil
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Praying in One Voice for Robert Lam

My deepest fears for the Appreciation Assembly for Robert Lam last Sunday came true. I heard the people were not praying in agreement, some prayed for healing, some felt he was dying, some spoke as if he was dead already. It was awful. I didn’t go as I didn’t want it to dampen my spirit. I did ask Robert to use this platform instead to claim God’s assurance to him that he will live another 10 years. However, I know I can only share so much as I have learned today (see my blog Cycling with Henry ) that all have their personal walk with God.

It is my prayer for Robert Lam that in his walk with God he will have no doubts that God can heal. It is my prayer for my church that although they believe that tongues is a gift from God that they would still find room in their hearts to desire for it for that is our communion with God when we have no words to pray for people suffering from cancer. I pray for the Holy Spirit to touch everyone in my church that they will allow the Holy Spirit to guide them to all understanding that it is God’s will to heal as how He healed me. Only then can we pray in agreement, in one voice for the healing of Robert Lam and to encourage his spirit likewise too.

I pray you will seek to ask “How do I know it is God’s will to heal”. If you are seeking, here is a website as a start for your discovery. Immerse in God’s words and ask for the holy spirit to guide you accordingly.

Exodus 15:26
Exodus 23:25
Deuteronomy 7:15
Deuteronomy 30:19-201
Kings 8:56
Psalm 91:9-10, 14-16
Psalm 103 Of David.
Psalm 107:19-20
Psalm 118:17
Proverbs 4:20-23
Isaiah 41:10
Isaiah 53:4 -5
Jeremiah 1:12
Jeremiah 30:17
Joel 3:10
Nahum 19
Matthew 8:2-3
Matthew 8:16
Matthew 18:18-19
Matthew 21:21
Matthew 11:22-24
Mark 16:15-18
Romans 4:16-211
Peter 2:241
John 3:21-221
John 5:14-153
John 12
Revelation 12:11

Cycling with Henry

I had a dream more than a month ago. I was riding a bicycle downhill very fast. I felt so free and as I whizzed through a narrow gap I noted I had become braver and more daring! Behind me was Henry trying to catch up with me on his bicycle. I felt I was spiritually ahead of Henry and I didn’t want him to lag behind. Since then I’ve been encouraging him to sign up for Deeper Life Seminar at the Renewal Lutheran Church (51A/221 PJ).

Yesterday was the first day of the class and I was really encouraged when Henry, King Wai and Tony went to check out its first class. Alas, it was not meant to be. Tony wasn’t comfortable. Henry wasn’t sure. King Wai wasn’t prompted to want to go again. Still Henry and King Wai would give the class another try next Monday.

It’s amazing how it ministered to me and it didn’t do much to them. Deeper Life Seminar isn’t for everyone. I went before the Lord today and there was a confirmation in my heart to say that God has his own timing and his ways. Our ways are not his ways, our thoughts not his thoughts. What I thought would be good for my friends and husband may not be God’s timing. “God will make a way” sung Don Moen this morning.

The sermon last Sunday by Tan Yu Kheong and his wife spoke to me to just say to the Lord “I am willing” and He will start opening doors to me on where I should go. But it has been my concern that what if I am ready and Henry isn’t. What if he only experiences God through trials and not actively seeking God?

I was very encouraged when King Wai told me “I know Deeper Life Seminar did minister to you. Maybe it agreed with your spirit because of what was shared was for you but you must not think that Henry has not experienced God’s touch. I think he seeing you grow and the changes happening in his life is evidence of God’s goodness. His faith has surely grown. One thing that Ps Vernon Falls said was to cast all your cares on God. “Cast” means to release. You must release this care concern of yours. Don't think God is guiding you on a different path and Henry on a divergent one. I believe He is working in both your lives and when the time is right you will know. Have faith in the God who made you:-) When you draw closer to God he draws closer to you and you begin to hear him more through the Holy Spirit prompting I believe. But as all things, we are still work in progress. After all the good work he has started in us will be completed by Him :-)”

We can’t force anybody to love God or experience God more. Like King Wai says regarding the issue of spiritual walk we have to go slow with others because at the end of the day it is that person’s personal walk with God and the holy spirit working in them that will help them discern.

I believe we can only pray for the holy spirit to work in them. So, that was my prayer this morning, to cast all my concerns of Henry unto the Lord that in His right timing He will show Henry and I the direction he is to go. I surrender unto you Oh Lord.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

I’m so excited for Robert Lam!

It’s wonderful to see how God is turning things around for Robert Lam. I hear that Ps Leon from EFC chapel will be leading the prayers for the Appreciation Assembly this Sunday at 5pm at Subang First Baptist Church. Ps Leon was one of the many pastors that prayed over me and I remember he too said I am healed months ago! He told me to keep thanking God and if I run out of words, I could thank Him praying in tongues every morning.

Then, this morning I hear that Ps Lydia and Ps Joseph from Global Breakthrough Church wants to meet up with Robert Lam. They taught me how to invite Jesus into my heart, they told me about "open doors" and they are so in tune with the holy spirit the words they speak were relevant to what I was going through then. Praise the Lord! Yesterday, I gave Robert a book “God’s word for Healing”. You can purchase it from Salvation at SS2, PJ. It summarises scriptures verses from the bible on healing so that you don’t have to hunt for them. The book even has a 31 day devotion guide. Actually, if you are looking for some guidance on how to pray for healing, you can also visit:

This was prepared by my Uncle Allen led by the Holy Spirit.

So anyways, I am all so excited where all this is heading and I pray that Robert’s spirit will be strengthened in the Lord even more.

Two months is too long for a strategy not to kick off. The alternative treatment does not seem to help but I am certain once Robert grows in spirit in the Lord whatever strategy he commits to God will just be used by God mightily!

We continue to claim that by Jesus’ stripes, Robert is healed. But currently his symptoms are as follows:

- Looks tired
- Needs oxygen to be comfortable (sometimes)
- Stomach bloated because liver is not in good shape
- Lack of Appetite
- Nauseas

I rebuke all the cancer cells in him and cast it out in the name of Jesus! I plead for the blood of Jesus to flow through him and remove Robert’s nausea away right now right not and that he regains his appetite in Jesus’ name. I pray that God will work the Lidan beverage (E Excel) that will be introduced to him today to clear his liver and make it healthy again. I speak life to his liver and to all his cells and organs that it will all return to normal so that he can eat and that his immune system will be boosted up again in Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Cast Your Burden Unto Jesus For He Cares For You

One of the scariest things in walking this journey is how to overcome the stress that I may/will have to go through when life is back to normal again. At least for now, I get to rest, recover, meditate on God’s words and reflect of His goodness.

Today is one of those days that reality hits me again. A taste of things to come. Kids can bring us stress but in this journey I have learned that it need not be. We can actually learn through the eyes of children like how Fee testifies in her blog I have also learned that God is our Abba Father, that everything is alright between Him and I and it’s alright to let God look after our children because He loves them more than we love them. I’ve also learned that when we dedicated our children to God, they are no longer ours but His! So stop worrying Liz and Henry!

Today, Henry was hit with BIG anxiety pangs. For the past 3 days the teacher has been hounding Henry along the same lines “Why is your son not responding?”. Henry also winessed 2 kids sitting next to Nic taking his color pencils without Nic's permission and Nic's reaction was just spaced out with not a care in the world. He also seems painfully shy and does not want to speak. Yesterday, the teacher commented that Nic was not communicating in Mandarin. Sigh. It's not a surprise because Nic speaks English at home! We had already given the teacher a list of tips for how to handle Nic.

Henry was contemplating checking out to see how Nic responds these few weeks and if Chinese school is too tough, we may just have to pull him out. Oh no! Everyone’s telling us it takes about 3 to 6 months to adjust but just a few weeks? Where is our faith in God! Henry was so disturbed today, he had to go before the Lord. I was also praying in tongues and was led by the holy spirit to pray along these lines:

- To bind all work of darkness working against Nic
- To bind all spirit of fear, spirit of timidity, all zombieness (due to lack of response)
- To topple this wall between him and the teacher that is preventing her from reaching out to him
- To bind of evil spirits using other children to take things from Nic and to prevent any form of bullying
- To grant Nic’s teacher wisdom and creativity to engage with Nic to prompt him to respond
- Spoke life to his brain cells to connect, to develop well and to suddenly make sense of everything
- To claim God’s promises in Daniel 1 Verse 4: That Nic be “without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand” Verse 17 That God will bless Nic with “knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning”.

Thankfully our friends encouraged us that Nic will be fine once he makes new friends. My cousin also reminded me not to be overly spiritual about Nic’s condition. Still I shoot in the dark with my prayers and have confidence in God that He has heard it. Is it really totally human behavior? My gut feels tells me it is not so I cover him in prayer in all angles.

After Henry received all your encouragements, he felt more at peace. Thanks everyone who twitter him and encourage him on facebook.

Just the other day when I gave Ethan a kiss out of the blue, I wondered if God does that every now and then. I think He does because He loves His children very much. I pray that Henry and I will truly be blessed with this knowledge and learn to let go all our cares and anxieties on Him.

1 Peter 5:7
“Give all your worries and cares to God for He cares about what happens to you”

Today’s happening reminded me that God is our Father and that His primary love for us is that of a Father to a child. God does not expect us to know everything about everything. We have Him to rely on for understanding. He just wants us to remain in Him and to trust that He has it all under control.

Psalm 147:5
“Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite.”

Testifying in Faith (Robert Lam)

Robert Lam shared with us (Ps Sasha, Ps Chris, Elaine and I) on 6 November 2009 that he sensed that God would give him another 10 years to live. We were so happy of this hope he has in our Lord Jesus Christ. We asked him to claim it in Jesus’ name!

He is now in University Hospital after a period of not being able to sustain his food. He lacked the appetite and he kept vomiting. Robert has stage 4 skin cancer called melanoma. His condition is rare and his biopsy had to be sent to Singapore to be analysed. Robert had opted for alternative treatment of taking supplements. The oncologist at the University Hospital told him he should go on chemotherapy to address renal failure (something to do with the liver).

I pray I could give him all the hope that God has given me but the journey is his to take. There will be an appreciative assembly for him this Sunday at 5pm at the First Baptist Church Subang chapel. I am not certain if he is strong enough to attend or maybe he should be resting.

I know people mean well when they organize events like this but I fear it may convey a different message to his spirit. I know they want to communicate to him all that he has done but what if deep down they are saying "I will miss you if you return home to the Lord". I really really pray that it is a time of encouragement, of speaking life to his body, of encouraging him that it is God's will to heal because the bible says so.

I was so troubled this morning and felt led by the holy spirit to tell Robert that if he has to go this assembly, to use this event as a platform to testify that he will claim’s God’s assurance to him that he has 10 more years to live. To claim God’s promises in Ps 118:17 “I will not die but live and will proclaim what the LORD has done.” It is when he testifies with such faith that he will begin to receive healing. In this journey, there's so much I want to share to those with cancer but most times I don't know how to do it tactfully or maybe I am too tactful the real message does not come out. How do you tell someone to surrender all to God? My mum told Aunty Florence, what God can do for her is only up to the measure that she trust God for healing. I suppose the only way is through my testimony and the only way I know how.

I remember I had to go through this journey too. Even before our decision for chemotherapy, I shared with the ex-CCFers of what God wanted me to tell First Baptist Church. I had already started testifying and indirectly demonstrating that I will do God’s will and trust He will perform what He says. It was a nerve wrecking experience and I shivered and a lump in my throat as I shared. And 2 weeks after the biopsy, on 18th July 2009, I truly believed God has healed me as a birthday present to my mum and my mum believed it too. It took a long while before men's reports show the miracles but I believe God had already healed me then.

I pray that Robert will take this step of faith. If you read this, please pray for Robert and when you meet him, encourage him to claim God’s promises for his healing for God is mighty and powerful. It is the Holy spirit that convicts, works in him that ultimately heals him.

Nic Evangelises

Nic evangelised yesterday and he didn't even know it! I was pleasantly surprised when Henry told me that Nic told his Ah ma that she would not be able to go to heaven because she does not know Jesus yet. Nic wanted to go to heaven to see Jesus, to hug him because he loves Jesus. He really wants to give Jesus a great big hug because Nic had many personal encounters with Jesus!

I told him only people that die who know Jesus can go to heaven. I told him we need him here on earth to share Jesus with others especially to his Ah ma who doesn't know Jesus yet. I'm glad Ah ma didn't blow her top, she actually smiled, according to Henry. We continue to pray that God will send a perfect labourer to share Jesus with her and that she will be saved. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen! (It might well be that Nic is that perfect labourer!)

Most of us playdown the reality of hell until maybe we get a close encounter with God. Hamir once shared a testimony of a wealthy man, a general manager of an electric product company. This GM's wife had been praying for him for 20 years to turn to God. But he only continued to commit unimaginable sins including contracting out jobs to kill people. That part wasn't revealed in this man's testimony but Hamir saw it in him and spoke it out to the man. The man said "How did you know?!". One day, he was hospitalised for heart problem and had FIVE by-pass surgeries. He thought the doctors would just operate him and all will be well again and he could then continue to live his life as usual again. Suddenly in the middle of the night at the hospital after the surgery he saw himself plunging into darkness. He was being pressed down, down, down into a dark pit and he was feeling scared! He kept getting pushed down until he saw two YELLOW EYES staring at him and he knew then it was the angel of Death! He was so terrified that he shouted "JESUS save me!". And he started to come out from the pit and there was Jesus next to him. Jesus asked "Why should I save you?". The man told him that he would tell others about Jesus. Jesus replied "I have so many people including past prophets that further my Kingdom. Why would i need you!" The man said "I want to return to my wife make up to her as I have neglected her for the past 20 years". With that, Jesus allowed him to live and today he gives this testimony to everyone and has left his old life! And he even has a big cross scar across his chest to show to others!

God is compassionate. He is slow to anger. It is only us who have our own misassumptions of who God really is.

May you discover Jesus all over again this new year. Jesus said "I am the way the truth the light. No one comes to the Father except through me". Only Jesus has seen Father God and He came down to planet earth to show himself to us and performed all the miracles so we may believe. Read the book of Luke and John. They are great places to start reading in the bible. I cast out all work of darkness working against you from believing and I loose the anointing of the holy spirit upon you that you may open the eyes of your heart to see Jesus. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

The stork came to town

Never thought the day that a stork would visit our town. It is normally found in the wetlands, in a zoo or at a bird park. It looked much bigger with the naked eye but this is the best I could shoot with my phone. It appeared on Saturday, the day of the wake for Aunty Florence. My mum would say it is a sign but even she could not interpret it! :) It's good to see you anyway stork! Can you find it?
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Monday, January 4, 2010

My Cousins, the Encouragers

It's amazing how this journey has brought about much closer ties then ever thought possible. Meet my cousins Jean (left) and Tammy (right). These are only 2 out of more cousins that have encouraged me in this journey. Their testimonies are amazing. Tammy survived cancer twice! TWICE! She was the one that highlighted my rhema from God - 1 Timothy 2:7 "God did not give me a spirit of fear but of power, love and sound judgment". The night (early July 2009) she revealed God's rhema to me, I experienced a miracle from God. I was so excited after experiencing this miracle that I decided to call this an adventure with God. I knew I would have to just put on my seat belt and get ready for a ride that will change my life. And I just had to bring you guys along with me. :)

Meet Jean. I've not met her for decades! But only yesterday, she shared her powerful testimonies and it set me to remind me that if we sincerely look for God, we will surely find Him and He will guide us all the way. Her first few experiences was being slain during altar call and she found herself in a foetal position with a vision of a baby that would not stop crying. She was delivered from the spirit of rejection that was tormenting her since childhood. How God gave her the gift of tongues and later she found a stirring in her heart to just follow Him and leave all the material things in life.

Jean is now helping migrant workers full time. She has experienced so much of God and attends a methodist church with her hubby. She says it doesn't matter where we go to worship. "I just go with an attitude that God has something to bless me for that Sunday so it doesn't matter if its a pastor that normally sends people to sleep" she says.

Wow! As she shared with me blow by blow I only knew this is not a chance meet but God telling me something. To be prepared for changes. To trust Him for more to come. To follow Him. I went home telling Henry that when he attends Deeper Life Seminar, to cast out all unbelief and doubts in his life, so that change can come. We cannot remain in our old shells now that we have experienced God so real in our lives.

Steven Lee gave me a word from God this year for the new year from Deuteronomy 1:11

"May the LORD, the God of your fathers, increase you a thousand times and bless you as he has promised!"

He says be prepared. Just be a vessel that God can continue to use. Be like a cup and ask that God continues to bless me because he believes there is more and to claim them!

Today, Hamir prayed that my family would be more fruitful this year. I pray that my homegroup and my church will be more fruitful this year and to experience God like never before! Please share when you experience God. My homegroup's focus this year is "Testifying God's Goodness as Praise to God". It is when we testify that we give glory to God and we encourage each other in our walk with Him just like how my cousins encouraged me. Praise the Lord for encouragers!

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Friday, January 1, 2010

My Homegroup

This bible study group enjoys the company of those who share one thing in common – their love for Jesus! We first formed in June 2001 after “graduating” from CCF, a peer group in First Baptist Church, PJ. After learning to be victorious Christians from Neil Andersen’s “Breakthrough to Spiritual Maturity”, we studied “Joshua” on being brave and courageous in the Lord! We learned the reason we are here in Rick Warren’s "Purpose Driven Life”. We have also covered "Spiritual Leadership" by J Oswald Sanders, "Come follow Me" discipleship book series, the book of John and recently "Share Jesus Without Fear" by Willaim Fay. We pray that we will get into action for Him and our focus this year is to share our testimonies with each other to give praise to God as well as to encourage each other to increase our faith in Him! A nomadic group, we take turns to meet weekly at Damansara Heights, Bandar Utama, Puchong or Sg Buloh! So, do join us every Friday night (9pm), to study God’s word and in doing so, uphold one another in love as well as recharge our spiritual lives! You can be single or married, young or old - it doesn’t matter As long as you love Jesus or want to know more about Him, come join us!
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