Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Childlike Faith (http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2009/05/09/devotion.aspx)
The things which are impossible with men are possible with God. —Luke 18:27
On the way home from a family camping trip, 6-year-old Tanya and her dad were the only ones still awake in the car. As Tanya looked at the full moon through the car window, she asked, “Daddy, do you think I can touch the moon if I stand on my tiptoes?”
“No, I don’t think so,” he smiled.
“Can you reach it?”
“No, I don’t think I can either.”
She was quiet for a moment, then she said confidently, “Daddy, maybe if you hold me up on your shoulders?”
Faith? Yes—the childlike faith that daddies can do anything. True faith, though, has the written promise of God for its foundation. In Hebrews 11:1, we read, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Jesus talked a lot about faith, and throughout the Gospels we read of His response to those who had great faith.
When a paralyzed man’s friends brought him to Jesus, He “saw their faith,” forgave the man of his sins, and healed him (Matt. 9:2-6). When the centurion asked Jesus to “speak a word, and my servant will be healed” (8:8), Jesus “marveled” and said, “I have not found such great faith” (8:10).
When we have faith in God, we will find that all things are possible (Luke 18:27).
— Cindy Hess Kasper
God, give me the faith of a little child
Who trusts so implicitly,
Who simply and gladly believes Thy Word,
And never would question Thee. —Showerman
A childlike faith unlocks the door to the kingdom of heaven.
Monday, March 29, 2010
This is Jesus
in his glory
King of heaven
dying for me
it is finished
he has done it
death is beaten
heaven beckons me!
How He Loves Us by Kim Walker/ Jesus Culture
Kim Walker How He Loves Us Lyrics:
He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane,
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of
His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions
eclipsed by gloryand
I realize just how beautiful
You are and how great your
affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.[x2]
Yeah, He loves us
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves.[x2]
We are His portion and
He is our prize,
Drawn to redemptionby the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet
kiss and my heart turns
violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way
He loves us,
whoa, how He loves us
whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves[x2]
Yeah, He loves us
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us
He loves us
He loves us
He loves.Yeah, He loves us
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves
He loves us, Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves
He said in cities and towns where the church has been planted, the sign of the presence of God is the Miracle of Love found in John 13:35 “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
In today's world, a church or believers who exhibit this is a powerful testimony - more than miracles.
I knew it was spiritual attack when I was just too tired to go for class on the Exposition of Hebrews because of the flu. I know Dr Leong was probably expounding more about what he shared with me two weeks ago.
I thought his answer was good enough for me that miracles are only seen in rural areas because somehow I had lost God (as in spiritually dry), I had forgotten what the cross meant, why He says I am an overcomer today. The miracles He has shown me in my journey was enough to increase my faith and kick start my love relationship with Him all over again. Then, I also realised that we were meant to be united in love. God sent us the Holy Spirit who prompts us to encourage others and that is more powerful if we were to do it on our own strength. I must confess in walking in this journey, at times I get discouraged or I fail to understand why others can't fall in love that easily with Jesus. Then, I realized that I was like that. I was also spiritually dry, also very busy doing my things, also having my own agenda. So many thoughts come to my mind, why this person this, why this person that and I realised now that it's not about others but just walking with God, discovering Him all over again, understanding who Christ is in my life and that same love just compels us to love another. It's just that..anything more than that is "works". Anything more than that is glorifying oneself and not bringing Glory to God. For He is able to use us to touch others, to encourage others, to bring them back to Him. That's allowing God's spirit to love others and not by our own strength.
On Thursday, the day I wasn’t feeling well, I received a call from YC (also suffering from lung cancer). I know God put us together so that I can encourage her because she was feeling fears all over again. We’ve been in contact before. I am encouraged when she is encouraged after that call. But that Thursday night I went before God and said “You said Lord your yoke is easy your burden is light”. I could not understand why YC could not just place her trust in Him. Almost immediately, Steven Lee called me and encouraged me. Amazing! Praise the Lord! I told him the burden I felt which I know I should not have. Then, he made me remember again that it is the Holy Spirit that guides us to encourage others just as how he was calling me but that we should not take the burden upon ourselves but to commit it to God. I know God gave me the scriptures to share with YC because she said she was encouraged but I have to learn to cast all my cares unto Him for He holds us all together. That’s how the family of believer works. We love one another out of the love He poured out to us. We encourage each other and lift up each others’ spirit and help each other point to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. That’s the miracle of love.
And this Friday on Good Friday, I remember His love for me all over again when He sent His son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for us and Jesus' love for me that He took God's wrath upon himself so that my sins, past present and future, are cleansed and that everything is alright between God and I now.
Little Nic was sent home from school because he was vomiting. Oh no! What now? Praise God for efficient doctor who zoomed into the problem immediately. No fever, no flu, no redness in throat - not sure what else the doctor checked but he said Nic had stool in his intestine - constipation. So up went the enema. Poor Nic screamed dramatically but he felt better after he pooed. I want to thank Father God for his mighty hand upon Nic and for guiding the doctor to precisely the problem. All glory to God!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (niv)
"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (King James Version)
I stumbled on the following lyrics by Tim Smith whilst flipping through the praise and worship songs this morning. I really like the lyrics because 2 Corinthians 10:5 has a new meaning to me and this song helps me put into perspective of looking at Jesus.
Even with these symptoms of flu, fever and sore throat, it is very easy to imagine that my body will start to fall apart again so that's why I say "it has no power or dominion over me" to remind satan that it has no hold on me and to cast down all imaginations that the devil sets itself up against the word of God that is "By His stripes, I am healed".
I really like these lyrics because it then helps me then refocus on Christ, the Author and Finisher of my faith. Through the blood shed for me, I am now made 100% right with God again. Everything is alright between God and I. It's not just a noun faith but "faithing" this, believing this, ultimately because of the price He paid, shedding of His blood that Father God forgave our sins that allows me to come boldly before His throne and that's the power that flows through us for those who are believing. That's the blood of Jesus that flows through us for those who are believing. Believing, "faithing" and not just "I know" and then put aside. Sorry, as I write I am speaking to myself to help me understand grace all over again for there is power in His name, the name above all names, above all powers or principalities.
Wish I knew the tune. I can't find it on the internet.
I Look to You
1988 Tim Smith/SongSmith Ministries -- CCLI#347889
(2 Cor. 10:5; Heb. 12:1,2)
Laying down my vain imaginations,
Focusing my thoughts upon You,
Lord,Meditating in Your loving presence,
Not allowing fear in anymore.
Capturing my wandering thoughts before You,
Casting them before my Lord and King,
Standing pure and holy in Your presence,
Looking through eyes that now are clean.
I look to You, the Author and the Finisher.
I look to You, the Lover of my soul.
You consume my heart and my vision,
and through Your love I am made whole
So that Wednesday evening I felt sore throat and Thursday I had symptoms of flu and fatigue and this morning after visiting a GP, he said I have a bad throat and gave me antibiotics. Do pray for me and rebuke this sore throat and mild fever. Thanks so much. I did sms some of you for strength to cook "mi sua" last night. I did muster enough strength and after I ate it and popped a panadol, I actually felt much better. Thank you all. I started praying in tongues (after Steven Lee called and encouraged me) and after about 20 mins I broke out into singing in the spirit. It's all babble and some melody that is marchy, happy and victorious and I was having such a good time with the Lord! I was actually clapping hands. I could only do this alone else I am sure others will think me insane. By 9.11pm I was like floating and full of God's joy! It is true - the joy of the Lord is my strength. Thanks Sally Lee for your sms this morning. :)
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Here is what David Powlison, of the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation, who also was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer, have to say about healing. "I believe in God’s power to heal—by miracle and by medicine. I believe it is right and good to pray for both kinds of healing. Cancer is not wasted when it is healed by God. He gets the glory and that is why cancer exists. So not to pray for healing may waste your cancer. But healing is not God’s plan for everyone. And there are many other ways to waste your cancer. I am praying for myself and for you that we will not waste this pain."
Don't Waste Your Cancer
1. You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.
EM: I wouldn’t use the word design but allowed it to happen for a purpose. Satan knew the open doors I left ajar and making full use of it but God in His infinite wisdom knew I would come back to Him and yes, I believe there is more to this cancer. Cancer is only what we see, it is only temporary but what God has in store for me is even greater and that is the journey worth taking.
2. You will waste your cancer if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.
EM: This is one of many pf God’s promises that I cling on to that Christ has already redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us. I know ultimately that it is not always God’s plan to heal everyone yet I also know that His logos is for all of us as He guides us along, until we hear His rhema words sink into our inner spirit that gives us the peace beyond all understanding. In that way, I am confident I don’t have to close the bible and plead God for mercy because all of His words are true. How much refers to this life and how much refers to after the second coming? I believe it is a journey to take and to discover oneself but to cling on to the promises He has given to us now. Ultimately, it really doesn’t matter which way because the enemy is defeated. It has lost its sting. We already have eternal life now. :)
3. You will waste your cancer if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.
EM: Amen! Just a glimpse of God’s glory overshadows the cancer. We have a great big God, a prayer answering God, a miracle working God. Some look towards nutrition, or chemo or qigong but the Lord is my healer, the One I trust, my tower of refuge.
4. You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death.
We will all die, if Jesus postpones his return. Not to think about what it will be like to leave this life and meet God is folly. Ecclesiastes 7:2 says, “It is better to go to the house of mourning [a funeral] than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.” How can you lay it to heart if you won’t think about it? Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Numbering your days means thinking about how few there are and that they will end. How will you get a heart of wisdom if you refuse to think about this? What a waste, if we do not think about death.
EM: Ah, this was the one point that I struggled with when I read it earlier on in my journey but now I am beginning to be fearless. Actually, I’ve always asked my mum not to be fearful of death because we already have eternal life. It is actually a joy to meet our Maker in Heaven. I believe Robert Lam and Michael was given a glimpse of heaven. It’s too hard to refuse. The beauty of heaven compared to our suffering world. Still, if that is God’s rhema to me, I believe He will show me personally a real glimpse of heaven and I will be doubly ready then. Till then, I cling on to the promises He has for me. The past week, I have been overcomed with joy. It’s hard to explain but earlier on in the journey friends would have word for me to be joyful in the Lord. I have peace but joy just wasn’t overwhelming. But last week all that changed. Even when I sing, it is filled with joy from the heart..like I am lighter on my feet. I wonder what it means?
DP: Paul describes the Holy Spirit is the unseen, inner ‘downpayment’ on the certainty of life. By faith, the Lord gives a sweet taste of the face-to-face reality of eternal life in the presence of our God and Christ. We might also say that cancer is one ‘downpayment’ on inevitable death, giving one bad taste of the reality of of our mortality. Cancer is a signpost pointing to something far bigger: the last enemy that you must face. But Christ has defeated this last enemy: 1 Corinthians 15. Death is swallowed up in victory. Cancer is merely one of the enemy’s scouting parties, out on patrol. It has no final power if you are a child of the resurrection, so you can look it in the eye.
5. You will waste your cancer if you think that “beating” cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ.
EM: Yes, cherishing Christ overshadows cancer. It’s not even worth thinking about it. It’s more rewarding to seek after Him, to have a relationship with Him and to know Him more deeply.
6. You will waste your cancer if you spend too much time reading about cancer and not enough time reading about God.
EM: I think it was the holy spirit that put this thought into my mind from the first night at the hospital. After He assured me and gave me peace in my heart, I just knew I had to seek Him more deeply that is getting into His word. I did not have much interest in anything else not even TV. Friends were asking me to spend more time with my children, write journals, go for massages and spas but I said no to them all. It’s not important. Seeking God first is more important.
7. You will waste your cancer if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.
EM: After the many revelations and miracles in the first month, I was just bursting to tell everyone and share with everyone what He was doing in my life. I knew it would be a big risk that’s why I called it an adventure. I always picture adventure like a roller coaster ride. With Jesus, we’re in for a real adventure. It got me motivated to start a blog http://www.lizadventure.blogspot.com/. No more fears. I just pray many will be blessed and continue to be blessed by my sharing for He is really who He says He is in the bible!
8. You will waste your cancer if you grieve as those who have no hope.
EM: No grieve, only love, joy and peace. :) Until His rhema words say otherwise, I will cling on to His promises that He will grant me long life just as says in Psalms and Proverbs if I stay close to Him.
9. You will waste your cancer if you treat sin as casually as before.
EM: A lot was revealed at the first night at the hospital. Using fear as an excuse not to serve God, having resentment in my heart for a previous maid, managing kids with anger, not communicating with my dad, sacrificing too much for the kids which took a toil on my body and not putting God FIRST. The holy spirit brings many sins to memory but Ps Joseph and Ps Lydia helped me say a prayer to cover it all. To seek forgiveness and repentance even though I had already done it the first night. There were more bondages revealed during the Deeper Life Seminar classes and I broke all ties in the name of Jesus.
10. You will waste your cancer if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.
EM: Sharing with my friends the beauty of Jesus in this journey and watching others get blessed brings tears of joy to me. I surprise myself when I see myself get up and share with Beverly and Robert Lam. Only the holy spirit could have guided me. He shows me there is nothing too difficult in life with Him in the picture. Nothing is impossible for God. He reveals His love and compassion to me and what He has done for me, He can do the same for you. Just dive into His arms! :) I thank God for all the family and friends that surround me with their love and prayers. To God be the glory!
Full article by John Piper is at http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2006/1776_Dont_Waste_Your_Cancer/
Ethan's favourite place - Space Theatre @ Planetarium
Here it is! The certificate.
I think the classes that blessed me the most is by Dr Lay Keu Neu on inner healing and also Ps Gerry's class on deliverance for that was when she spoke God's word and the pain on my left chest went off. It's like a yoke that just broke. Sometimes we are under bondages we don't even realise it. I mean sometimes other people can see them manifesting in us. They want to help us but they can't. If only they could attend these classes, I just know if they are sincere, the holy spirit will guide with scriptures to break the yoke of bondages. No psychiatrist needed. Just between you and God. No need for hypnosis therapy either! True, you don't need these classes if you were genuinely seeking God to deliver us. At the first night at hospital, God revealed that I used fear as an excuse not to serve Him and when my cousin spoke 2 Timothy 1:7 to me a few days later, it really broke the yoke that held me in bondage for so long. But it was Deeper Life Seminar 1 that continued to show me how to be in agreement with the bible and to believe God's words over my circumstances. To also speak God's words and declare God's words constantly till it hits my inner spirit. AND not to speak out words that are against God's words eg I used to say "Aiyo, but I am so shylah. I cannot do it" But the bible clearly says "God did not give us a spirit of fear but of love, power and sound mind". He also said "The righteous are as bold as a lion" and "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me". In DLS, you can seek the pastors' help in finding you scriptures to confess it over your circumstances eg if you find you can't love your spouse, or your spouse is behaving badly or if you think your spouse is stupid etc. These are the works of the devil that wants to tear our family apart and cause our children to suffer consequently with more rejection in them which affects God's kingdom as a whole. If only we can see through the devil's scheme, we will rise up and use God's words and thrust it at the devil because they are all LIES!
My home group made a trip to the Gabai Waterfalls on 14 March 2010. I read on someone's blog that it's beautiful but filled with rubbish and the toilet stinks. We got there early about 8am and found a perfect spot for the children. There was a table with stools by the stream and an empty dustbin next to it. No stench, no filth, just icy cold water and lots of splashing fun. Steffi shouted "Hey Aunty Liz, want to go on exploration?" I had earlier brought them to a tiny rapid and it was quite challenging for them as the rocks were slippery but when they finally settled on the rocks for their little jacuzzi time, they just started going back for more. They even made the slippery rocks their slide! It was good to see the adventurous side of the kids especially Nic. I spotted him climbing rocks. Fearless!
Thanks Dennis for showing us the way there and to the curry fish head place in Semenyih. :) Wish you were there Tony and Min Yi! I just want to thank God for a wonderful day out and for allowing us such a good spot and fun filled time! :) Thank you Jesus!
Water chestnut or "Ma tai" drink by the road side
Cheng Hoon Teng Chinese Temple on Jalan Tokong
Limau Limau cafe on No. 9 Jalan Hang Lekiu opposite the Kampung Kling Mosque
Has lots of arty pictures, interesting books, chandeliers and healthy food. Also NO SMOKING!
This round, we made the kids go on a heritage trail from Puri Hotel on Jalan Tun Tan Cheng Lock to Jalan Kubu cutting into Jalan Tokong then into a small lane Jalan Hang Lekiu back onto Jonkers St, cutting into Jalan Hang Lekir and returning back to Puri Hotel. A nice and short walk for the kids. :) Henry commented that this trip was the same yet different. Same because we stayed in the same hotel but different because we took a different walk to see the nearby temple and mosque. I asked Nic what were his most memorable moments and they were mostly food related - water chestnut drink along Jln Tokong, lasagne from Limau Limau cafe, nasi lemak at Puri hotel and the soak in the bath tub. I think this trip was more exciting for Ethan since he enjoyed everything - even the wait at the air cond repair shop! Praise the Lord! :)
But if you do make a trip to Melaka you must drop by at Limau Limau cafe. It's a wonderful discovery. The restaurant is so small yet they still have an upper floor that overlooks the mosque's compound. It's quaint, really arty and smoke free although it's set up like a bar. They only have high stools to sit on which makes it more exciting for the kids. Plus, they offer healthy food! I had a roasted vegetarian sandwich and a carrot and celery juice with no sugar or water added. Henry and the kids had chicken lasagne and potato and leek soup. All very delicious. :)
Another interesting stop was the Geographer's Cafe on Jonkers St the night before. I hadn't realise before they had a policy of no msg, no artificial flavoring and they use sea salt. I had their vege sandwich and vege ramen.
All in all a great eating time for me as well which was not expected. All praises to God who provides for everything right down to meal times! :)
The small lounge area downstairs (Puri Hotel)
The room upstairs - My first 4 poster bed
Downstairs - overlooking the open court (feels like we're in an attap house)
Can't get enough of trishaw rides (RM15 from Jonkers St to Menara Tamingsari, the revolving tower)
We booked ourselves into El Sanctuary, Melaka, a place to unwind in the jungle. We heard that the caretaker whips out lovely food so we were looking forward to go there. We told the kids we were going to live in the jungle in Melaka. They were all excited. But Henry's air cond compressor gave way after the zoo visit and we ended up making calls, negotiating prices during lunch looking for someone to fix it. It felt like an hour's ride from Melaka town to El Sanctuary. We got lost a little but after some calls, we arrived at the place. It was 3.30pm, raining heavily and we were told our chalet was not ready. There was no place to wait and Ethan was fast asleep. Unfortunately, we had to give this place up. We had plans to spend the balance of the night in A Farmosa's cowboy town and watch the fireworks but it was not meant to be.
Why were we going through all these problems? We prayed and finally we reached the air cond repair shop. It took another hour before it was ready. But God is good. Out of all the repair shops, this was an amazingly clean workshop, clean green tiles and they even offered us cold mineral water and milo for the kids! My first thought of car repair shops are those with black greasy floors.
Then, we started calling hotels for alternative accomodation not wanting to make a long way back to El Sancutary after sitting in the car for 2 hours (to and fro). Rooms were fully booked at Equatorial and Rennaisance. Heeren House does not take kids! We decided to try Puri Hotel and finally opted for a junior suite. They had limited rooms. Nic was complaining. He wanted to go back into the jungle. He said "You must be patient, you are christians!". I explained we have to be flexible because we had trouble and we have to adapt to the situation but that God is good and all worked out well for us. Grumbling away, he finally opened the door to the hotel room and he said "Mummy, there's upstairs!". Wow, we did not expect it! It's a beautiful cosy room, 2 floors, tv upstairs and downstairs, old malaccan furniture, four poster bed upstairs and because everything was wooden, it felt like we were in an attap house but much much more comfortable! It also had a bath tub for the kids to soak and play in. What a wonderful God we have. We didn't understand why all the trouble hit us but in the end, he meant it for good and we had a wonderful family time together.
Thank you Jesus for everything!
At Deeper Life Seminar they discipline us to start with singing praises to God followed by thanking Him, then praying in tongues, then reading and studying His word and ending with meditating upon His word.
So, I was really thrilled to be able to finally sing praises to Him today AND at a sane hour. It just isn't the same if I just jump into His word. After some time spending with the Lord, I went about my usual stuff like preparing my lunch. At about 4.30pm, there was power failure! No electricity! No worries I thought, just chill out at the patio and spend more time with Him. Thank God for the lovely cool breeze and the absence of mosquitoes. This time I reviewed the notes on Hebrews by Leong Tien Fook. I ended up lighting candles all over the house in preparation of the dark. It feels like Earth day today. I could hear the sound of drums and piano from the nearby houses- entertainment without electricity! With the candles lighted, I feel like I am in the jungle. It occured to me that maybe He wanted me to spend more time with Him. Maybe He missed me too! :) I took out a torch and sang praises to Him with candles around me. Candlelight singing with Jesus. Then as I lay on the carpet, one of my neighbours shot fireworks into the night sky. It was a pretty sight. Right after that, the lights came on!
Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus! After all, I am still a city girl at heart! It was an unusual day with the Lord....
Monday, March 15, 2010
We did have a little scare today when the staff said we can only claim 1 box of tarceva per visit, meaning we would have to cough out RM8,500 for the other box of tarceva. In the end, we only bought 10 tablets (cost of over RM2,000) over and above the one box we could claim from insurance so that it would not be a blow to our cashflow. Praise God for quick maths in the head! My next visit is 3 May 2010.
While waiting for the fluid to work inside me in preparation for the ct scan, I asked God what he has in store of me and He assured me success, my beloved. I just felt His awesome love again and started tearing. So, I had no fear this time at the scan room. Praise the Lord! Even the setting of the line (hey, I finally found out what it is called since I am not so fearful I get to listen to the conversation around me), the doctor found my vein with no problems.
The nurse at the chemo day care centre later said it is very common for people to have rashes once the contrast dye goes into our body during the ct scan procedure. I am very thankful that none of that has happened to me. Praise the Lord indeed! But the stinging pain when the dye goes in that seemed to stretch my veins beyond all imaginations remains even though the pain lasts for less than 30 seconds. I kept crying out “Jesus help me” silently but before that I was happily singing in my mind “The joy of the Lord is my strength my strength”.
Thank you for all your encouragement. Indeed we have a big great God who will not fail us. He has given us His holy spirit and that same power that raised Jesus from the dead is with us. That’s why we are overcomers for those who believe in Jesus. Thanks Ying Chee for your encouragement of
1 John 5:4,5
for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.
When He says He has a plan to prosper me, that He will multiply my seeds sown, that He will increase me a thousand fold and by His stripes I am healed, I am greatly assured that He watches over His word to perform it and His words will not return to Him void.
Meanwhile, I walk by faith and not by sight - believing God’s words over the circumstance (the medical report, what I can see today). Hope for what Christ has promised me is for the future. But faith is now.
Thank you Jesus for being with me today at the hospital, for Henry and for all my family and friends upholding me in prayer. Thank you that you are a faithful God and the assurance you have given me in Your word. All glory to you Oh Lord!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I just joined Leong Tien Fook’s course on the “Exposition on the Book of Hebrews: The Defence of the Christian Hope”. Both Henry and I are attending this course together which is a miracle itself. Praise the Lord! We have nine more weeks to go and I pray that my mother in law will be able to baby sit our children in peace.
Tien Fook gave an interesting statement that now that Jesus has paid the price for our sins, the world can come to an end anytime and if Christ had not come yet, the world will NOT end any time! But now that Chirst has paid the price for us, the world can end anytime. So much for scientists predicting how long the earth can last for! Christ' death for our redemption has trigerred the “bomb” and time is shortened. Tick tock tick tock. Wow! Why?
It’s because the saints in the old testament, before Christ came, offered sacrifices to God as atonement for their sins, so that their sins may be forgiven. Hebrews 10:3,4 says “But those sacrifices are an annual reminder of sins because it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins”. Therefore, the sacrifices they made were like made using their credit card. God forgave the old testament saints’ sins on credit knowing it will be paid for in the future.
If the world ended BEFORE Christ came, this credit would not be paid for and God will be an unrighteous God! In Romans 3:25,26 it is written “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice because in his forbearance he has left the sins committed beforehand unpunished – He did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies (make us right with God) those who have faith in Jesus”.
Tien Fook helped us understand the urgency in God’s word that time has been shortened as is written in Hebrews 1:2 “but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son”. God has spoken to us in these last days. We are in these last days. God has spoken to us! How awesome is that!These last days is between the first coming of Christ to the second coming of Christ. We are in the days of fulfillment. The last days are about the coming of Christ. He himself is the promised one! Through the person of fulfillment comes the final revelation. There will be no more revelation after this. It’s already revealed in the book of Revelations of the new heavens and new earth. That is already eternity – FINAL.
Therefore, Tien Fook reminded us that for this reason, in 1 Corinthians 7:25-35 God wants our undistracted devotion to the Lord. Paul explains it does not matter if you are married or not, that is not the issue. Do not let problems in life distract you or promotions or possessions. Do not be engrossed in them (material things) for we are in the last days..tick tock tick tock…
PS: The course is at First Baptist Church Every Thursdays (except 18 March) 9 more weeks 7.45pm to 10.45pm (RM130) Not sure if registration is still open...
Here's inviting you all to the miracle rally. Do bring your family and friends who need to know the Lord, who needs healing in their lives be it physically, emotionally, mentally or even financially. It's the Lord who heals. Ps Vernon Falls has been anointed to minister healing.
There is translation for chinese speaking that I know from the last miracle rally. I expected a hall last year with everyone standing up but it's actually a nice comfortable air conditioned auditorium!
Come and be blessed! I was crying so much last October during the miracle rally. Still God works His healing in His own timing. Just keep going to these rallies to lift your spirit and be encouraged. You can see the miracles He works as testimony to His power. Ps Margaret Falls shared that she didn't immediately get healed from a miracle rally for her asthma (near death too) but she continued to walk close to God. She said in her case God told her to drop all her asthma medication except the inhaler. She just continued to seek the Lord until one morning she woke up and all asthma left her..no more wheezing sound. As for me, the lesions continue to disappear as I continue to trust the Lord. God works healing through many ways (some instantly, some not instantly, some by laying off hands, some just by the touch of the holy spirit), there is no set formula so just come and be encouraged remembering ulitmately God through our faith in Jesus Christ is our healer.
13 March 2010
Saturday 51A/221 PJ
Next to Sato building off Jln 222
Praise the Lord for the victory won. Thank you Jesus for you paid the price for me and bore my sicknesses for me 2000 years ago. Thank you for the measure of faith you have given us all and the same hope that we have in You.
Today's the second time I gave my testimony in public. The first was at the Pudu Chapter of the Full Gospel Businessmen's Meeting. The second was at the PJ Bandar Sunway Chapter. Hamir was the speaker. On both accounts he told me to share. I really must be bold and testify more on my own accord!
What surprised me was Alex shared with me later that as I testified, he saw the dots (lesions) starting to disappear. The more I testified the more it disappeared! Praise the Lord! He said at the first half of my journey I would ask God, looking up left and right "Where are you Lord?". But God wanted to tell me He was just standing beside me all this while. Now, this other half of this journey I can walk together with Him. That's really true as I am beginning to hear His voice more clearly. As Hamir prayed over me in tongues later, I didn't realise but Alex was standing by him ready to interpret and he shared with me later that God is saying "Go forth, go forth, go forth".
Later, when I shared with Alex how God sent drops of rain to motivate me to exercise, he said that I musn't let the problem speak to me. Because each time I allow that to happen, it gets louder and I lose my belief in God. He gave me scripture:
2 Corinthians 10:5
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
I hear this scripture so often during this journey but I am not quite sure how to apply it until lately, it has come clear to me how the devil constantly gives me negative thoughts. It's easy to have fears when my imaginations run wild, when I fear what others fear, when a doctor's report verifies the fear. It's becoming clear to me the devil's scheme the recent one being the pain on the left side of the chest which just went away after God's word was spoken over me. It's just plain fears injected by the devil into my mind. Alex told me every time a negative thought comes to me to speak out God's word of 2 Corinthians 10:5 and bring back my thoughts to what God says.
In the name of Jesus, I cast down all imaginations that you the devil set up against the knowledge of God. For no weapon formed against me shall prosper. For this is my inheritance.
Still, I continue to be amazed at people like Alex. How do they hear God's word so clearly? He says there is no short cut but spending time with God and His word and ultimately keeping quiet to hear God's words. I also notice they ask a lot "What is it Lord?", "Why Lord?", "Where Lord?" , "What does it mean Lord?" and then there's a still small voice he says that is very clear and not 50:50. I asked what if I think it might be from the devil and there's doubts. He said to speak 2 Corinthians 10:5 again to cast down all imaginations. Then relax. After awhile, ask God again in your spirit and you will hear Him speaking clearly to you.
Hamir said he was encouraged by my testimony. I am just so happy I got to glorify God and give Him all the praise for truly He loves us so much and He is always there for us. We just need to open our hearts to Him to receive Him.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Nic turned 7 recently. He asked for a Japanese party coz I shot down his ultramans. Quite clever coz after all ultraman is from Japan! We couldn't get him to wear anything Japanese, modern or traditional until all the guests left and he decided to try on my "kimono". Wish I could invite everyone over but a small group of friends and family was also nice to have. Sigh. I can't have everything. We had yee sang to celebrate the 5th day of chinese new year, we had japanese salad, japanese curry with chicken, edamame, sushi with unagi, tomako, cucumber and crabmeat, tempura, rice with seaweed, udon noodles with soup, miso soup and lots of chinese new year prawn crackers and cookies.
Lo Yee Sang!
Ethan found a bag of peanuts and started rummaging them and prising them open himself
The japanese birthday boy
What a slow walk. Then, I saw drops on the ground. Yikes, it's going to rain and I started to run. But the drops were so few and it did not even develop into a decent drizzle. I felt God's love enveloping me. Imagine, God would actually send drops of rain down to motivate me to step up speed. He's an awesome God!
Last week, while driving and stuck in a crawling traffic I started reading signboards. I pass these signboards almost daily so it was interesting what God was speaking to me through them when I took notice of them. The first was a big giant signboard with the words "Melindungi yang tersayang". Instantly, I felt God saying because He loves me, He will protect me. Second board said "Selayangku Sayang" and immediately I read it as "Lizku Sayang" that He loves me. The third board had Darth Vader looking at me and the thought of "May the Force be with You". But God is not a force. He's a spirit. God loves me. And the fourth was a signboard screaming "Success" from a distance. I read it as God will give me success and victory and I need not worry. He loves me. I drove on to see what signboard it is. It's actually an advertisement from a slimming centre! Four signboards speaking to me on just one road! Cool!
Still, I was feeling down and a bit fearful why I am having these aches. Last night I went for Deeper Life Seminar and we were going through how God did not make the devil. Lucifer was a beautiful angel who wanted to exalt himself higher than God and there was a fight in the heavenly realms between the good angels and Lucifer and his followers. Revelations 12 shows that the devil will be thrown into the lake of burning sulphur and he will be tormented day and night forever and ever. We were also shown the passage of Luke 10:19, my favourite to show that Jesus has given us authority to trample on serpents and scorpions and to overcome ALL powers of the enemy and NOTHING will harm us. It spoke to me so clearly. Yes, NOTHING will harm me, definitely not this fear that was building up. I knew for sure then I was under attack the past week. Better still, she made the whole class read out aloud Luke 10:19 three times!
Amazingly, Rev Gerry gave an example that pointed exactly to my situation. She said "But do you believe it?" Will you hold on to this when you receive a report from the doctor that you have cancer?". She gave an example using Revelations 12 to tell the devil "You get out from me in Jesus' name! You have no right to come near me. You will be thrown into the lake of burning sulphur and you will be tormented day and night forever and ever!".
That night, the fears just left me and I spoke whatever scripture I knew aloud to build up my faith.
"Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." (1 Peter 3:14)
I thank you Lord that you bore my sicknesses and infirmities (Isa 53:4,5) on the cross and became a curse for me on the cross (Galations 3:13) so that I may be healthy and and by your stripes I am healed (1 Pet 2:24)
Nothing will harm me, Nothing will harm me, NOTHING will harm me (Luke 10:19)
No harm will befall me! (Psalm 91)
The Lord is my helper. The Lord is my helper. The Lord is my helper! (Psalm 121)
Hey, this morning, I got up and the soreness on my left chest left me. Praise the Looooorrrrrd! I got up and quickly went for a run/walk. Yes, yes, must pick up speed! I just want to thank Him so much for being so close to me this past week and guiding me through and pulling me out of those fears injected by the devil. I am so grateful for His love!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
For we who have believed do enter that rest, as He has said: "So I swore in My wrath, 'They shall not enter My rest,' " although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.
For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His.
Well, I thought I understood rest until what my friend shared and then I got confused. I could relate to his struggles and his reasons were that we are only human and that the spirit fights with the flesh. But it just did not make sense for if it were true then we don’t actually have “rest” per se. The bible says our old sin nature is dead, we have a righteous nature now i.e. everything is alright now between God and I.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
Are we in Christ? If we are Christians, the answer is yes. Yes, we are in Christ. So why the resistance to the truth that the old sin nature is gone. Why does our experience contradict the truth? For that matter, why did we have church crisis? Or for myself personally, why was there a blown up situation 2 weeks ago when we had a heated debate which caused me to toss and turn in bed unable to sleep? There was definitely no peace in my heart, my mind was troubled and many emotions brewing. Definitely not at rest.
Worse still, last week Tony and Dennis shared that some people actually enjoy being in “anger” or “pride”. Huh? Why make ourselves miserable when we can have peace of God? What? Because it makes us feel in control?
So why does our experiences contradict the truth?
It took me a few weeks to figure out. The answer is because we are not really willing to trust Jesus. It’s all head knowledge. It hasn’t sunk into our inner man or our spirit what Jesus has done for us and why. We haven't really experienced the love of God or we have but we are disobedient.
Today, I was meditating on 1 Thessalonians 2:13
“And we also thank God continually because, when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men, but as it actually is, the word of God, which is at work in you who believe.”
I was just sharing with Henry that there’s just so much comfort meditating God’s word. It’s really really from God. And to allow His word to work in us is even more awesome. It makes me want to hear what Father God wants to tell me. When I was troubled and not at peace with my home group member after the heated debate, His word was like a mirror to my soul (my mind, will and emotion) showing me where I had gone wrong. It did not matter who was right or who was wrong. Reading the bible one night, His words simply flashed at me.
In 1 Corinthians 13:5 it says that love
“does not act improperly; is not selfish; is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs;
After only that small little account over a few minutes of heated debate, God’s word mirrored at me at what I did! Wah, I quickly emailed him to apologise and quickly made calls to hunt him down. Hmmm, believe it or not the devil was still trying its luck because I did not get to speak to him even after a whole day of calling but still I pursued till the very end with only a mischievious voice at the other end saying “So you reckon I was trying to avoid you?”. Of course he wasn’t. My heart was just at peace and all of God’s love, joy and peace flowed back into my heart once again. Praise the Lord!
By not delving too much in the topic or why words were spoken the way they were or letting my emotions control me, I could trust that God will find the right time for us to discuss on the topic again in the future. I could trust that God in His timing will reveal more to him in personal experiences.
I know that our peace of heart is destroyed after any argument. It’s in these times that we need Jesus so much to guide us what to do next. We need to remember that Christ came to die once for our sins to set us free from captivity including sorrow, pain and diseases. We are free. We are overcomers. We are sons of God, heirs and co-heirs with Christ, seated at God’s right hand. Everything God gave to Jesus, He gave to us. "Why you are no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ (Galatians 4:7)". And if we are his children and everything is alright between God and I, we can just cry out to Him and He will answer us. That is the faith we have in Him.
That is faith mixed with God’s word:
For we also have had the gospel preached to us, just as they did; but the message they heard was of no value to them, because those who heard did not combine it with faith.
Hebrews 4: 11
Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience.
I pray that in this period of lent, we will diligently enter into that rest in Jesus, NOT by diligently working on our own strength to love others or overcome anger, hatred, discouragement, pride etc BUT by meditating on God’s love for us by reading His word and looking at the cross once again and finding that rest in Him through faith in Jesus Christ. You can trust Jesus. He is really all that He says in the bible.
Monday, March 1, 2010
At my mum's place during the first day of chinese new year, there was just so much variety of food and my mum was very kind to make me my very own "ju hu char" with some lettuce leaves minus the "sotong" or squid substituted with pumpkin. I made some pesto sauce from sweet basil, olive oil and walnut and it was quite good. I also had some steamed cod fish. My Aunty Vivien saw my plate and she commented "It doesn't look like you're missing out on anything!".
I'm in good days, strong and healthy except for some back pain these past few days which I think is from "pain of a woman thing". Still, I got Elaine to lay hands on me yesterday and pray for me. Not much pain today. I think I need to rest more too now that 15 days of the great chinese new year celebration is over!
Thank you all for praying for me and claiming healing for me. I thank the Lord for "becoming a curse" (just last Friday's sharing during bible study from Galations 3) for me and on that cross, He took away my disease and by His stripes I am healed. Thank you for cleansing me from my sins and now everything is alright between God and I and I can cry out daddy, papa, "Abba Father". Thank you Jesus!
I suppose that’s why it’s taken me so long to write since I did not want to spark any debates. I know many speak with love and not wanting me to be carried away with charismatics. Still I am on this journey of seeking and I pray you will allow the holy spirit to guide me and to help me discern accordingly. Last night I slept repeating these words to myself over and over again “Have courage. Just as you testified to me in Jerusalem so will you testify about me in Rome” (Acts 23:11). I will not be discouraged but go on testifying what God has done for me.
Last night, in Deeper Life Seminar, we learned about “Hearing the voice of God”. Margaret Falls taught how we mainly hear God’s words from the bible. The other ways we can hear God are from audible voice of God (e.g. Gen 15:1) , angels (Luke 1:19), dreams (eg 1 Kings 3:5), visions (e.g. Acts 10:17), prophecy (Acts 11:27-30), still small voice (1 Kings 19:12-13), prompting (Acts 8:29-36) and inner witness (Acts 10:19) but all these must line up to God’s word and that’s how we know whether it is from God. DLS helped encouraged me to know what I experienced in my journey is true because that’s how I sought God and he answered me mostly through His word, soft promptings, prophecy from friends and all that lines up to God’s word. What crushed my spirit 2 weeks ago was when my home group member advised me that Isaiah 53 did not refer healing to physical but ONLY to the soul and that I can’t claim it.
As I went to bed last night after reading the bible, I heard what God say to me which I wrote down in my journal:
“Come to me daily and read my word and I will reveal more to you. Obey me, come and talk to me daily and I will reveal great things to you. Do not be easily discouraged. He does not know the things that you know. Strengthen your heart and your mind by abiding in me. Draw strength from me like a vine from a branch. Remain in my love always and there will be peace of heart.”
Then I started to cry because after 8 months I am beginning to “talk” again with God like I did 11 years ago. The reason why we spend time with God be it in personal prayer and personal devotion is so we can be sensitive to what God wants to say to us.
I pray that God will touch you and open your ears to hear him and experience His mighty love all over again.
The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life.
The day was very hot and sweaty and even my kor kor found it very exhausting. But the day is not over yet and we are off to grandma's house on my mummy's side for more food and celebration...yayyyy!!!
The last I counted I have about 21 cousins (second removed) on my dad's side who are around my age group alone, with the youngest about 2 months old. That means great play time together everytime we meet! :) We like petting the lion and if we could, we would give all our ang pows away to feed the lions and watch them prance more. The lion would be very happy and prosperous!
Every Chinese New Year, we dress our chinese new year best and off we go to Ah Ma's (hokkien for grandmother) house to collect our "angpows" early in the morning. Ah Ma wishes me all the wonderful chinese blessings as she gives me the ang pow. Then we take a family photograph together.
Gong Xi Gong Xi Gong Xi Ni. Gong Xi Fa Xai! (Wishing you Prosperity!)
We get really excited to go to great grandmother's house. Great grandmother whom we call "Tai Ma" is 98 years old this year. We're excited because of the lion dance performance and the loud fire crackers! We collect lots of ang pows and play with many cousins. Almost everyone dresses in red and gold as a mark of prosperity.