Monday, October 4, 2010

Sort Your Mail

Imagine a father holding a toddler's hand. The toddler trips and falls on his knees and hurts his knees. His father pulls him up, cleans his knees and continues their journey. Along the way, he bumps into a tree and see stars, falls into a hole and hurt his ankles, falls into mud and gets dirty but his father is always there holding his hand and pulling him out of danger.

You have probably heard of this line "Even though we are Christians does not make our problems go away". I get confused when i hear this phrase for the bible says in Psalm 34:17 that

 17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; 
       he delivers them from all their troubles.

The former line if not explained properly makes me feel like I cannot trust God to deliver me yet i know God is able to but why not for my case? The example of the father holding his son's hand opened my eyes to see how God does deliver us from all our problems. He is in it with us but like a good and wise father, he doesn't over protect us. Between Henry and I, I think Henry is wiser in this area. He will leave things for Nic to do, simple things like taking the plate to the sink, wiping up the mess. My sis is also very good in this area. The other night Ethan dropped a pack of yoghurt drink from the cold area in the supermarket. My immediate instinct was to pick up for him but my sister held me back and she said to Ethan "Pick it up, Ethan and put it back on the shelf' and Ethan happily did it. Father God is like that as well. He is there by our side guiding us, sometimes letting us do things ourselves and not just taking the problem away from us. Then he hugs us and we feel loved by Him and we love Him back in return and soon even the dirt on our face, the scratches on our knees, the stars that we see, the sprained ankle that hurts grow dimmer for we only feel God's big hand holding us securely.

During class last week Ps Vernon told us to put our right hand on our belly and raise up our left hand as he prayed Ephesians 3:16 over us. As i munched on that night's lesson, I woke up the next morning with tears in my eyes with a sudden realization of how i was over protected as a child. As I grew older, I would try to psyche myself to get things done all on my own strength and without the holy spirit. And soon i gave excuses so i wouldn't have to try including serving God the way that he wanted me to serve him. It explained why i also tend to over protect my children yet i am somehow not so equipped to handle the stress resulting from it which then adds on to my stress! What a heavy load!

That morning the holy spirit also prompted me to sort my mail. Strange, i had told a friend earlier that morning to follow the holy spirit's leading and sometimes it has nothing to do with the trouble we're facing. Then i heard "Sort your mail". I sensed that if i asked the right questions why i hate to open mail so much, it would reveal my deep fears. And it did! Thank you holy spirit!   It was fear of failure. And it took me the next 3 days to sort and file my mail.

But it was the visual of God holding my hand, guiding me through difficult times and pulling me out of trouble that melted my heart that i need not face all the fears in my mind. I just need to be courageous to take the first step and let the holy spirit guide me. Come January will be trusting in action. Come January, it is He who will still hold my little hand in his big hand and I need only believe that he won't let me go. 

It was his spirit in my inner man that helped me realize all the above and I prayed for this deep understanding of his love to be with me in my inner man that will see me beyond January.

Father God I pray for your spirit to go deep down into my inner man that I may know that I know that I know that I know how much you care for me and how you are always by my side even when the going gets tough. I thank you for your revelation of Ephesians 3:16 and the father-son visual by Ps Maragreth. Thank you for putting it so plainly to me. Thank you for helping me realize I am not alone in facing the fears in my mind. Help me realize this for my children that I too will not over protect them but just guide them through like you do for me. In jesus' name i pray. Amen.

Ephesians 3:16
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,.. 

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