The lot is cast into the lap,
but its every decision is from the LORD.
So, I got out a can, rolled 2 pieces of paper with writings and shook it. Then, I put my hand in and read out one. "Stop taking Tarceva". This is like the third confirmation from God, the first two were impressions and now a cast lot! Still I said to God (before I cast the lot) if it is for me to stop, then can I consult my mum and Henry. I did and there has been no response from them yet. I will just have to be patient and wait upon the Lord. Really, my gut feel is that I can stop it if I want to. If I want God's view, just stop taking tarceva! I wish I could get a doctor's professional view that I can actually stop taking it! I feel strong. I already have a nutritional strategy in place to boost my immune system and God says yes!
I had a dream last week that was my first encouraging dream in 9 months! I dreamt I had an exam coming and it was going to get tougher if I delayed. So my friend and I were checking out what the exam was like. Then the answer came in a parade! There was a flock of birds of many many many kinds flying in a rectangle formation over us. It was really pretty. The first exam (the easy one) just flew past us! Strange. Then, the exam that we were about to take is likened to the next flock of birds. Again, there was a variety of birds in the same formation flying above us AND they were accompanied by classical music! So, I thought to myself, "That's why it's much harder". But then, I told myself I am sure I could pass the exams because I love music even though I do not know how to read music notes!
Then, there was another flock of birds in rectangle formation flying above us. I strained my eyes to see at least one type of bird. There was a bright yellow pelican! The sight was really beautiful - imagine, an assortment of birds flying orderly above you in a parade and passing you in 3 phases! But there was a big giant baby blue balloon in the shape of an elephant's head floating in front of the third flock of birds. How strange. What has an animal gotta do with birds?
It was a bizarre but beautiful dream and I thought to myself what it could all mean. And I remember Hamir telling me "Ask the Lord "What is it, Lord?"" So I did. This is the impression that I get:
I have just passed the first phase. I am entering the second phase and though it is difficult (classical piece), there will be much joy (like the beautiful birds I see). The elephant trumpets, so the third phase will be one of victory and joy! Whooo wheeee! Such encouragement from the Lord! Thank you for personally letting me see this encouragement in all its splendour! Thank you Jesus for guiding me through each and every day!
Soon after, I met LP and I sort of knew I was entering second phase and also that very night, Doreen mentioned I got featured in Asean Beacon and I know God has a purpose for all this. I just need to trust Him and obey!