P53 and HITV costs RM300k

P53 and HITV treatment costs RM300,000

Today, we went to see a doctor on gene therapy called Gendicine P53. We heard there would be a clinical trial and if blessed,we might be chosen for it. It involves injecting a bottle of medicine directly to the tumour every 3 days. Each bottle cost RM 3000! Total cost is about RM 100,000! Then, he talked about another treatment called HITV which KIm Kee my friend shared with me months ago. since Kim Kee already told me the cost is about RM200,000, we did not meet the doctor because the cost is totally unaffordable.  It also involves a trip to Japan for a procedure. The cost does not include the accommodation in Japan for three weeks!

Elaine and uncle Mickey told me not to worry about the cost because God will provide but our minds cannot fathom how!

However, recently Henry has been touched by God and he has seen with his eyes how God provides us financially. Right after the discussion with the homeopathy doc regarding solamargine recently at a cost of RM 4800, Henry was so troubled yet God provided by increasing His monthly allowance. As he started to tithe more, he saw how God provided more blessings again. When he was upset with God when he saw me suffering, God spoke to Henry to have more faith in Him and to trust Him. Suddenly, i saw how calm he was in the clinic when these big numbers were thrown at him today. I was  really very very surprised. God really increased Henry's faith to just trust Him completely even financially which is the hardest part for Henry on a normal day.

We were at peace with the idea of the treatment and after meeting the doc, we were thinking about the groups of people we could approach to raise funds but before we could think deeper about it today, our friend informed us that his dad would like to help us raise funds. We were so touched by God's love for us. This is only shortly after we stepped out of the clinic and were discussing at a restaurant. It is simply a miracle! Tomorrow, we will meeting our friend's dad to pray together before he begins to raise the funds. We would like to commit all these plans to God.

Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed

Praise the Lord! All glory to God! Praise God for a wonderful compassionate man and his children who felt led to help us. Praise God for all the support of family and friends and their prayers. I have been feeling weak lately and we believe this treatments are so timely. God is blessing us with two treatments instead of one. What we think it is impossible, God made it possible! B53 followed by HITV. I am amazed. When God says He provides His words never lies. 

Philippians 4:19
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Everything He says in the bible is true. We just need to surrender it all to Him. Many friends tell me that if it is truly an open door by God, He will even make the finances happen. Wow! We see it with our own eyes now. The funds have not come in yet but we are confident now because He has already shown us today and it ties in to His promises.

This came after soul searching last week when I talked to God and said I just want to seek His face. I cried "i just wanna seek Your face, i just wanna seek Your face". You see, because of the breathlessness, singing praises to God was becoming difficult and some mornings, I don't sing to Him. Praying in tongues also has been difficult because of the same. Slowly, I started spending more time watching TV instead of spending time with God. I wanted to start all over again with God.

Last week, I told God I wanted to cut off watching too much tv and just come before Him even though it has been difficult singing to Him and praying aloud for long. I told myself God is so loving, even if i spend just 5 mins with Him, He would still love me. Just when I told Him this, the talks at the recent retreat at The Farm talked about "How to Wait Upon the Lord" and "Transformation" which part of it talked about seeking God and He would
manifest Himself. Mrs Gong shared with us how as she talks to God, God would speak to her or she would just sing one song over and over again. She also shared with us how as we replace the words in the bible to us personally, we could meditate a long time on His words. And that is how she could spend 2 to 3 hours daily with God and she enjoys it tremendously. 

Then, when I returned on Friday, our bible study topic was on " the pure in heart will see God" from the Beautitudes. 

Matthew 5:8
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Hey, that is what we learned at the Farm! We also sang this song "My heart longs for you my Saviour" and I could relate to this song so much because I really wanted to come back to Him despite the challenges. It's nothing like praying and singing aloud compared to all in silence though He still can hear us.

In addition, Sunday's sermon was about longing for God like "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God (Psalm 42:1)" and that is exactly how I felt!

I want so much to be in His dwelling place despite the difficulties, the weakness, the temptation of tv, the thought of boredom from reading the bible. I told Him I would persevere and I know I would just see Him day by day as I gaze at Him. I started singing the song "My heart longs for you my Saviour" despite the breathlessness. Today, I see His wondrous works and His hand over our lives. 

Oh Lord, I love you so much! Thank you thank you thank you so much for your abundant blessings. I just pray that I will just grow into a deeper relationship with You. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.