Wednesday, December 9, 2009

You are supposed to be dead

“You are supposed to be dead”. “You don’t look like a fourth stage cancer patient”. These were the words from Dr Gary Green, the first chiropractor I met to treat me for my stiff neck yesterday. I found it all amusing. I did tell him I am recovering well not wanting to give an impression I was stricken with cancer. He has a little clinic next to KFC in Brickfields. We were busy chatting with each other (which did well to distract me from all that poking) as he was administering “dry needling” on me. It is exactly how I perceive acupuncture to be, just a prick followed by some needling. He said “dry needling” was first introduced in the European countries in the 1820s and is different from acupuncture.

Later, heat pack was placed on several parts of my back including the neck and shoulder areas for 10 minutes. I did feel the muscles relax. Praise God! I was feeling so miserable since Monday and it climaxed yesterday (Wednesday). I found it hard to sleep on Tuesday night and by Wednesday morning any small movement would hurt, even swallowing saliva!

This morning, I feel like a cloud of misery has lifted off me. My neck is still sore but it can move more. Dr Green did not want to risk giving me neck crunches so he asked for me to do an x ray first. I was praying this morning and decided against it and just let nature take over now. Thanks to Wei Ling’s advise, she said that it would normally take a week to heal naturally but I was taken in by Dennis’ advise because of the misery I was facing. I discovered in this journey, it is worth seeking medical help when worship is disrupted. Now that I can worship again this morning, all is well again despite a little pain!

What I found interesting is the lesson God taught me this week. I asked God, “You know a few of my friends and cousins including Tammy and Isaac ask me what is your rhema for me. God, what IS your rhema for me? I’ve learned so much from you, I sincerely feel there’s so much rhema you are pouring out to me. Are you sure that there is only one strong message? What IS your rhema to me?”. The reply came “STIFF NECK. Don’t look at others, look at yourself”. Amazingly, when I was up in Genting, I decided to continue reading Deuteronomy and I discovered an angry Moses scolding the people of Israelites being stiff necked and rebellious.

God sure has a sense of humour. The moment I get stiff neck, I read about a race of stiff necked people! I felt God was trying to tell me I need to learn to rely on him constantly and not just in bad times else I will be like the Israelites that “love and forget” over and over again. I continued reading the book of Judges and it was the same trend. Each time they forget God, they turn to their gods, Baal, Ashtoreth..mine would be AFC channel, Biggest Loser, 411, kids. It’s not that God doesn’t want me to have fun but I need to establish a relationship so close that I would do everything in His presence and not just find Him when I am in trouble. That is my take home for the week.

And it is an important take home for He warns me that He is my God not just for this journey but forever. That after I pull out of this, I cannot return to my old self and neither can Henry. All of us must move forward and to continuously enjoy this love relationship. After all, what is so difficult of being in love?

And the devil has really been having a field day for the past 2 weeks even my mum is beginning to admit that it is spiritual warfare. I was amused and touched at the same time when MY MUM said “Why don’t you bind and throw it away in Jesus’ name?”. Whoah, that’s my mum talking! She was saying normally people only get stiff neck on one side but BOTH sides??? It must be spiritual attack! The timing for attack after attack was also very good.

Fever- recover- fever- ct scan fever-lack of energy-stiff neck.

Better still, while driving home with my mum yesterday, we saw a car in front of us spotting the word “DEVIL” on its wind screen. My mum asked “Why would anyone put such word on his car”. I said “They think it’s cool mummy”. But to me, it was confirmation of spiritual attack.
Everytime I get hit, I have to quickly turn to God and ask Him why, where’s the open door? I’ve been attacked but unshaken and each time I come out unshaken, I come out stronger and stronger knowing that God’s faithfulness never fails me. This morning I read from Hebrews a reminder to focus on Jesus and how he disciplines us.

Hebrews 12
2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, ... 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

”5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.

…but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13"Make level paths for your feet,"so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.”

Thank you Lord for this week’s lesson. Let me not be stiff necked any longer but to love you so much that you are in my every vibe, my very being every single day of my life. Thank you Jesus for everything.

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