Jonah's ego

Jonah's ego
 Last night, I read the book of Jonah again. I know Jonah was  disobedient when He ran away from God when God commanded him to preach to the people of Nineveh. But reading slowly, i realised the reason why Jonah was defiant was because he knew God would relent if the people of Nineveh were to return to God.

Jonah said to God in Jonah 4:2

"... “Isn’t this what I said, LORD, when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.""

Amazing. Jonah hated the people of Nineveh so much that now that God has relented, he asked God to take his life because he would rather die now! (verse 3)

I was thinking is there anyone that I hate that much. No. I was thinking whether the Israelites hated the Palestinians that much. Would they ask the same if the Palestinians returned to the God of Israel?

I was thinking despite how Jonah felt, God still used Jonah to carry out his will. That was quite humbling. We shouldn't be so proud or so quick to judge others or how God would see others for this is what God says in verse 10-11

"  So the LORD said, "You cared about the plant, which you did not labor over and did not grow. It appeared in a night and perished in a night. Should I not care about the great city of Nineveh, which has more than 120,000 people who cannot distinguish between their right and their left, as well as many animals?""

Just as how God had compassion on me, so I too should have compassion on others no matter who they are, believers or non believers and just allow God to use me for His glory. Thank you Holy Spirit.

In Enemy Territory

In Enemy Territory

There is balance that we need to know about the spiritual realm. On one hand, we are to know that Satan exist and we have authority over all powers of the enemy because Jesus broke all their powers when he died on the cross. On the other hand, focussing on God and knowing who we are in Christ is more important than "Satan busting". Oh, I must also add after hearing Rev. Marvin's sermon that it is not like equal powers of good vs evil for Satan is only a fallen angel and his powers is nothing compared to our almighty God.

But not to use our authority and not knowing how the devil works on our minds is deadly.

I never had to think about how the devil works thinking that the devil cannot touch Christians. They definitely cannot touch Christians who know who they are in Christ (basically all that the bible says we are and the divine powers given to equip us all etc) but since I had hardly read the bible and forgotten much and living pretty the way I wanted, we were definitely under attack. And because we influence others around us and the people in our church, then basically even our church was/ is under attack too.

Even the chief priest of voodoo who became a Christian and met Ps Vernon Falls said "If only Christians knew how powerful the word of God is!" meaning to know His word is more powerful and more damaging to the devil than studying how to bind and break the devil.

So, I was disturbed because for the umpteenth time, someone came up to our family again to tell us he saw "something" around my house. This time it was a chinese "astro" man. He had a long conversation with my mum outside the house after the repairs. He said he saw something and he didn't like what he saw.  But the saddest part was that my mum asked him for a solution to rid of the evil spirit! I used to get spooked by the comments of evil spirits around and in my home. But it showed my weakness of not knowing what God says about me. I did not know who I am in God or more like not practiced it.  I had not sunk God's words into my spirit man. I did not believe that God who is in me is greater than the evil spirits around me and that is why I was afraid. The man's solution was charity work and more light in the garden. He told my mum to get rid of all the tall plants in our garden. As I write, the tall plants in my garden are being chopped up as the man said evil spirits like to hide in them. (Interestingly, we have been having lots of difficulty with our garden lights. No matter what we do, our garden lights would get spoiled after a heavy rain. We need lights specialist!)

We are not alone. Evil spirits are everywhere but they cannot touch us who believe in Jesus. A medium who turned christian told me that when a christian walks past him, he can feel power leave him immediately.

Believing in Jesus with none of God's words in us is to walk with no protection. That night, I read out to my mum line by line of what Psalm 91 says. These are God's promises to us. I have memorised this entire psalm and sometimes, say parts of it when I can't sleep.

    1He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
         Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. 
    2I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress
         My God, in whom I trust!" 
    3For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper
         And from the deadly pestilence. 
    4He will cover you with His pinions,
         And under His wings you may seek refuge;
         His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark. 
    5You will not be afraid of the terror by night,
         Or of the arrow that flies by day; 
    6Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
         Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon. 
    7A thousand may fall at your side
         And ten thousand at your right hand,
         But it shall not approach you. 

(isn't that powerful, our neighbours or people around us might be dropping like flies because of plagues, pestilence or arrows shot by evil spirits/ devil but it shall not touch us!)

    8You will only look on with your eyes
         And see the recompense of the wicked. 
    9For you have made the LORD, my refuge,
         Even the Most High, your dwelling place. 
    10No evil will befall you,
         Nor will any plague come near your tent. 

(again another beautiful promise that no evil or plague will befall us!)

    11For He will give His angels charge concerning you,
         To guard you in all your ways. 
    12They will bear you up in their hands,
         That you do not strike your foot against a stone. 

(my mum insists we pray for thousands of angels to aid us but here it is in God's words. He will! He will! We just need to keep saying it out and praying God's words. I read in psalm 68 that there are thousands upon thousands of angels - psalm 68:17 "the chariots of God are tens of thousands and thousands of thousands...")

    13You will tread upon the lion and cobra,
         The young lion and the serpent you will trample down. 

(Here is the authority given to us as His children. We will and can trample on the devil and his minions)

    14"Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
         I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name. 
    15"He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
         I will be with him in trouble;
         I will rescue him and honor him. 
    16"With a long life I will satisfy him
         And let him see My salvation."


Henry and I prayed in agreement to take back ownership of our house and used our authority to bind and break the devil. We praised God for indeed He is greater than the evil spirits around us. We need not be afraid of the devil because we are overcomers. Please read the bible and believe all He says about us and hold them dearly in our hearts and pray God's words often so that when the attack comes, we are equipped and after doing everything He calls us to do, we can just stand firm!

Revelations 12:10-12


 10 Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:

   “Now have come the salvation and the power
   and the kingdom of our God,
   and the authority of his Messiah.
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters,
   who accuses them before our God day and night,
   has been hurled down.
11 They triumphed over him
   by the blood of the Lamb
   and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
   as to shrink from death.
12 Therefore rejoice, you heavens
   and you who dwell in them!
But woe to the earth and the sea,
   because the devil has gone down to you!
He is filled with fury,
   because he knows that his time is short.”

Update - Shepherds Pie and overcoming anxiety

Oh this is so cool. I found a way to copy the photo of yesterday's dinner (which Henry emailed to me) into the post using the URL. There wasn't any URL but it worked anyway when I pasted it. New discovery everyday!

Henry was reading the Sunday Star yesterday and was talking about how he missed Shepherds Pie from his boarding school days. I suppose it is lovely comfort food in a cold country. I always thought Shepherds Pie had fish in it for some reason but should have thought better after all it says ' shepherd', it should be 'lamb' right? Duh. Anyway, I had a look at the picture of the pie and the Sheperds Pie recipe in the newspaper and thought "Hey, sounds easy enough". I have so much vege in my fridge that the only missing ingredient was minced meat.

I used a mixture of minced chicken and beef instead ( about 400g), 1 carrot, 1 zucchini and half a parsnip and 3 huge russet potatoes and amazingly the whole concoction fit well into my 12 in by 7 in rectangle dish. Henry loved it coz he ate most of it. Both our boys were screaming "I hate pies! I hate pies" but they liked it and ate it in the end. Looks like Henry loved it more than the boys. I just had a bit for taste and had pumpkin soup instead which was prepared by my mum.

I was so exhausted yesterday from going to church and cooking but happy. :) For the first time in two weeks, I slept the whole night through. Even Henry was surprised.

Since taking the low dose naltrexone, I had difficulty sleeping because I thought I had to be asleep between 2 am to 4 am for the endorphins to be released. For the first two night, I kept waking up at the time I was supposed to be asleep. On the second night, I was feeling anxious but God was watching me. I was thinking why am I putting more emphasis on the drug then on God. Don't I trust that God would use the drug in the way He would. So I repented and cast all my cares upon Him.

While I was casting my cares unto God, two smses came in from Steven Lee. Even Henry stirred and prayed for me. After that I found out that Steven Lee had sent me two bible verses about casting my cares unto Him and crying out to Him morning, noon and night. Praise the Lord! The following night, I was still up at 1 am but I was hungry so I decided to just eat and returned to bed. Last night was perfect, no anxiety, no waking up, restful sleep. Thank you to all my friends praying for me! :)

Henry told me that one of the side effects of the ldn drug is a feeling of anxiety. What? Anyway, God is good and took care of me! Praise the Lord!

Alvin's dad's advice

Alvin's dad's advice

I finally got to meet Edward Foo (Alvin's dad) after all this while and ask him all the questions I have been dying to ask!

I finally learned that uncle uses the following prayer book 3 times a day, spoken ALOUD and in faith. :)

"God's creative power for healing" by Charles Capp. It is a little booklet that can be purchased from Canaanland for RM7.90. I t is all based on bible scriptures but changed a little to make reference to us as the first party and to also put in specific prayers eg.

"Jesus bore the curse for me: therefore, I forbid growths and tumours to inhabit my body. The life of God within me dissolved growths and tumours, and my strength and health is restored. (Matt 16:19, John 14:13; mark 11:23)"

He kept stressing the faith bit but I really believe that if you say God's words long enough, sooner or later it will sink into your spirit man and that is when faith arises. Uncle's faith is so strong that nothing could get in way of his healing! He refused to change his diet. But it is not like BIG faith that we know it. It is really a child like faith. He is like a little boy who just trust in God who would heal him!

Other things I remember him telling me:
- take holy communion daily to help us discern His body and by His stripes we are healed
- read psalm 91, psalm 23, psalm 103 daily
- read Ephesians asking God to reveal to us His wisdom and revelation
- it is by grace that we are saved and not following the law

Uncle had a 7cm tumor. He was diagnosed with fourth stage colon cancer. Yet within 7 months, with no chemo, unchanged diet, it was completely wiped off just by prayers prayed in faith, spoken aloud everyday. The doctor, when asked what he thought said he could not explain. Uncle told him Jesus healed him!

Dosage for low dose naltrexone

Believe it or not, one pill can last 10 days! 

Each pill is 50 mg. Crush one pill in 10 ml water. Use a syringe to suck out 0.9 ml to get 4.5 mg dosage. Keep the balance in the refrigerator.

Henry and I prayed for the drug to work based on the following which I extracted from www.lowdosenaltrexone.org

"Low dose naltrexone might exert its effects on tumor growth through a mix of three possible mechanisms:

-By inducing increases of metenkephalin (an endorphin produced in large amounts in the adrenal medulla) and beta endorphin in the blood stream;
-By inducing an increase in the number and density of opiate receptors on the tumor cell membranes, thereby making them more responsive to the growth-inhibiting effects of the already-present levels of endorphins, which induce apoptosis (cell death) in the cancer cells; and
-By increasing the natural killer (NK) cell numbers and NK cell activity and lymphocyte activated CD8 numbers, which are quite responsive to increased levels of endorphins."

Take the medication (4.5 mg) at bed time so that between 2 am to 4 am, the endorphins may be released. :)

Our faith is in God whom we believe has directed our path to this drug to boost my immune system alongside with nutrition and strict diet. We believe that it is God's healing power that will flow through this drug into me. So, we do know in the head that this drug is not a cure all although we understand if it works, it really works! Still if you are pondering a strategy taking this drug meanwhile is really no harm. You need to pray to God and ask the holy spirit to guide you where to go.

Meanwhile, Henry noticed I did not cough the whole night after taking this drug. Praise the Lord! Let His healing power flowwwwww.....

Update - Naltrexone is in!

Praise the Lord! This morning we received our low dose naltrexone.
Finally! Now I understand why it came so late. Medicine that God is
using always comes after faith. Last night while being prayed by Ps
Elisa, I believe I have been healed. So, now taking the drug tonight
is gonna be like "okay, let's see what God has in store for me through
this drug". God's timing is always perfect. :) healing last night,
drug tonight.

So, yay, we have the drug, we have the drug. :) thank you you know who
and most of all thank you Jesus!

Healing session with Ps Elisa

Healing session with Ps Elisa

I went to meet Ps Elisa last night from Western Australia. Alvin had sweetly arranged this meeting specially for me and I was honored that she would meet us at a house rather than at a healing rally. Alvin, alvin's dad and I went to meet her. We heard that she has the gift of healing. She is only 30, sweet and full of life!

She shared how she met a man at Brickfields yesterday with stomach problems and as she prayed for him, he felt something cold in his stomach and then the stomach discomfort went away. She told him it was Jesus who healed him. You can see that her passion is for others to know Jesus and have a real intimate relationship with him.

She shared with me how in Australia one day, she suddenly had a huge burden to pray for Eva (who was suffering from lung cancer for two years then). Ps Elisa was crying and just had to go over to Eva's place and Eva and her family were having dinner. She pulled Eva aside and said she just had to pray for her and she did and Eva got healed soon after.

There was also another man she prayed for. He had lung cancer and both his lungs collapsed and was dying in hospital. But his wife Bibiana had great faith and Ps Elisa when praying for him had a vision of a healthy man, shaking her hands and introducing himself to her and in her prayer, she brought those heavenly realities down to his body. A week later she met him at a conference. She could not recognize him but he came up to her and said "Do you remember me? You prayed for me and now I am healed!".

So, when she held my hand, she sensed it was the same presence of God that was just with me and she started to pray for me in understanding and also in the spirit. She called my cells not to be agravated but be in peace. She saw the cancer cells shrivel and die and blown away. She called the good cells to be normal and to start multiplying. She cast out the spirit of death. She saw God enveloping me in his love, he is kissing me and he has me in a cocoon and she said she sense that even as I go home and lie down in bed, I will just go on being in his presence and God will restore throughout that time. She said she sees so much going for me and that I have a destiny and a purpose and I was like nodding my head. But she said I need not be super religious for God sees our heart and knows what we love doing. It could be tending to a beautiful garden ( yeh! Like my mum!) or acting in a play ( yeh! Like Ps Elisa coz she will be performing as a clown in 'Circus' at the Temple of Fine Arts at Jln Berhala this 6 Feb) and still be able to reach out to the people around us in the small things that we do. She cast out the spirit of grief and she said sensed I was not fathered in a correct way growing up (whoa, the holy spirit sees all and knew that I was brought up in a broken family) and God was taking all my grief away. I never thought it was grief but the things I did in life to want attention or a relationship stems from this longing to be loved. She prayed for the holy spirit to breathe His life into me and suddenly I felt myself breathing harder because I wanted so much of the holy spirit to come into my lungs. I felt so much peace and calm and the warmth of her hands on my chest and back was most comforting. She also saw God forgiving me of all my past sins. I just cried so much during the whole prayer session, really touched by God. I felt I am healed and I just thanked God over and over again. :)

While she was praying for Alvin, I started to cough again, went to the toilet and coughed more. It was so itchy. And when finished praying for Alvin, she put her hand on my chest and back again and prayed again and cast out the spirit of affliction and called it a "liar" and commanded it to come out and I stopped coughing all the while she prayed. She looked at me and said it is not her but anybody can lay hands and pray. I just need to position myself for healing. I can ask for the holy spirit to come into me, the heavenly realities to invade my body. She said not to talk much but just continue soaking in God's presence. So, I just did that. :)

It was really such a wonderful healing session! By Jesus' stripes, I am healed. I knew it when I was diagnosed and when God spoke to me and Hamir brought me to all those healing sessions. But it is really a battlefield of the mind and standing on God's promises. Now, I learned three new things.

1. Trusting God by studying His character ( thanks king wai and Anthony) and knowing He is always there even when we can't see Him because we are His child. I knew all that but I think it finally sunk into my spirit man! Praise the Lord! Once we know that God is in control and he loves us so much, we can just cruise in life and not be afraid of anything. :)

2. To position myself to receive God's healing by pulling down heavenly realities into my body. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Still grasping this but for now, I will keep asking for the holy spirit to come and just know He is there rather than to call and wonder he is there or not. There is a difference.

3. To reject the lies of the enemy. I really succeeded the past 2 weeks with lots of prayers from all of you and using our authority to break that spiritual attack. I am beginning to see how the devil worked on me. Again, I know about angels and demons but I was brought so close to death (and that's just the bunny talking coz her threshold for pain is so pathetic), I really felt I was dying and then, I rejected it. It was a lie, just a lie! And now, I feel my body getting stronger and stronger. Praise the Lord!

Getting to Elpizo at SIB, PJ

Getting to Elpizo at SIB, PJ

Elpizo (the christian cancer support group set up by Sherry Lim) has moved to SIB. It was like going for a treasure hunt yesterday getting there. The trick is to follow closely to the directions given! Else, you will be frustrated and end up in circles or trying various lifts but never surfacing!

SIB is located at Bangunan Yin near Eastin Hotel in PJ. The address and map is at this website:

http://www.sibkl.org.my/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=113&Itemid=109

It is off the sprint highway. Once you locate Eastin hotel on your left, pass it and go towards Bgn Yin. You can see a big RED billboard 'Ambank No. 1' ahead of you. Go to the car park under this big billboard into Bgn Yin ie "Entrance 1" per map above.

This is where the adventure starts!

Once you are in the car park, keep following the sign that says "P" and "B3". Finally, after many turns and levels, you will reach B3. Look for pillars G 46 and G 47. Once you find it, go up a small ramp BETWEEN these pillars that brings you into another parking area. There are lots of parking space here early Tuesday morning. Park near the GREY DOOR that leads you to the lifts. Take the lift to level 4 and the Elpizo room is just opposite the lifts.

Very easy when you follow the directions. Very frustrating otherwise. Happy hunting!

Elpizo meet
Every fortnight Tuesdays
10 am to 12 pm.
Organic lunch provided
Next meet: 24 Feb (coz none during chinese new year)

Harrowing days

Harrowing Days

The past 9 days has been most harrowing for bunny me. I seem to be in a new phase of experiencing pain and i am still crying out to God not to test me too long! It came soon after the poor results of the ct scan on 11.1.11. I was actually feeling quite good before that except for the cough symptom.

Henry was stressed yesterday making calls to our alternative source for LDN. I told him he shouldn't be because God is in control. If He closes the door, He will close it. Then, he said he was actually angry with God yesterday morning as to why God had allowed pain to come onto me and I guess it must be quite harrowing to see a bunny being tortured. 

But God brought him to remembrance this passage from Job and Henry apologized to God.

Job 1:11
"But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has and he will curse you to your face."

I was like nodding my head. Yes! I knew it was spiritual attack that happened last week to bring discouragement and hopelessness to me and for Henry to shake his fist at God!

Steven Lee called me today and he sensed this "the enemy is not happy". He told me not to look at the natural. He shared with me the same verse I was amazed at. John the baptist, who experienced God so much and so sure of his calling was in doubt that Jesus was the Messiah when he was imprisoned. It is encouraging to note that he is human after all. Likewise, when i was in pain, I felt so hopeless and discouraged and almost threw out all God has shown and promised me.

Luke 3:20
20 So Herod put John in prison, adding this sin to his many others.

Luke 7:18, 19

The disciples of John the Baptist told John about everything Jesus was doing. So John called for two of his disciples, and he sent them to the Lord to ask him, “Are you the Messiah we’ve been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?”

Steven Lee gave me the following scripture to quote when praying in agreement with Henry. He shared from experience as he and his wife also went through great many trials together. Indeed, praying together in agreement as a couple is so powerful. Our prayer lives as a couple shot up as we cry out to God together. I pray that this will be a consistent feature in our relationship as it bonds us closer too. :)

Matthew 18:19

“I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.

Update - Selayang hospital visit

In a bizarre twist of events, the first person that greeted me at Selayang hospital early this morning was Henry's cousin who has been attached to the Palliative Care Unit for these 2 months. Suddenly, I felt so at home and she did tell me everyone here is very friendly. But I did sense the hopelessness in her eyes as I told her about low dose naltrexone and looking for a cure. Amazingly, I ended discussing the issue of naltrexone with two doctors (not including Henry's cousin) instead of one. Interestingly, he had heard of a pancreatic cancer patient who was looking for the same drug and he reckons it is currently being administered by an oncologist.

In order to prescribe this drug to me, he would have to speak to a small community of oncologists as well as carry out some research particularly if it has been published in any medical journals. He said he would revert in a couple of days.

So there! The trip was amazingly smooth, minimal waiting time, we did not get lost and no charge (although he gave me some painkillers just in case). Praise the Lord!

On alternative treatment, I don't think this is the place to search for it although i sense this is definitely the place that God has opened the door for the naltrexone drug if our other source does not materialize. If indeed we can get hold of the drug, this place would be able to monitor me on the intake of it.

I can't wait to see what God has in store for us next. Whatever, it is I ask that there would be no pain involved. If I could only touch God and get that one word from Him, I will be healed. I must say that pain helped me turn to God even stronger and I had to dig deeper that God is still with me and I can trust Him. Just only 2 weeks but He has shown me that as I trust in Him more and more, healing will start to flow because it is sinking deeper and deeper into my spirit man that God is always there for me and He is always in control and all His timing and ways are perfect. And he showed me His miracle last Friday when I did not need painkillers anymore. My home group then turned our prayer session into praise session last Friday! What the devil meant to discourage me and bring me hopelessness has made me stronger in Him. Now I realize that the most important thing is to build my trust in Him for He never lets me go and be in His presence. How to get there? Praise Him, cry out to Him, just genuinely seek Him.

Update And sermon about Holy Spirit

It is Sunday today but feeling too weak to go to church. Yesterday, I cheated and took a Panadeine pain killer so I could be more comfortable to pray to God and especially for YS who is in hospital now because she had not had bowel movement since around the same time as me, I think around Monday. She is feeling weak with nutrients being fed into her chemo pod. Oh, please pray that she will get bowel movement by today or else she will be up for surgery tomorrow.

I am just turning my gaze to Jesus and not letting the discomfort get me down. I remember when Hamir was singing praises over the phone, something inside me woke up, the discouragement and hopelessness left me and I cried and started worshipping God again. This morning I started with the song "I exalt Thee", just like that singing it over and over again brought me back into the presence of God. I continued playing praise songs and just now, I just finished listening to a sermon from Calvary Church Melbourne in Florida. Thanks Winnie!

Thought I would share with you in case you finish hearing your sermons from PBC (www.pantaibaptistechurch.org), you can hear more from this website. You would need to register first and remember your login details but I assure you, it is worth it. :)

Sermon

http://www.calvaryccm.com/teachings/main/video/GS78.aspx

I pray you will be blessed! :)

Facing cancer need not be lonely

Facing cancer need not be lonely. However, first you ought to acknowledge that there is a Creator of heaven and earth. Then, everything you have learned in partiality will fall into place. Then, you don't have to pretend you are living in an unreal world like in Matrix or Inception. Then, you understand why human life is sacred, why humans want justice (eg 9-11) why there is good and evil. Then, you will know we are not alone but there is a spiritual realm out there of angels and demons. Then, you will make sense of the enemy who wants to rule the world and destroy the world and is played out in power rangers and all super hero shows. You will understand why humans make sacrifices and why blood is so important. Then, you will see the Creator reconciling all humankind back to Him and how His hand has been upon human history and still playing out and the bible is not just stories or good teaching.  Then, you will see the heart of God and how He planned from the beginning to save us through Jesus even way before He created humans. And when those who love Him are finally with Him, He will ultimately lock away forever the devil and all those who reject Him.

Then you will know the mind of the enemy out to deceive the world and giving us half truths and always taking God out of the equation!

Anita and I met YS (who was diagnosed with colon cancer and a second blow of tumor in uterus) recently to encourage her and to hopefully share Jesus with her. YS showed me a book written by a monk who wrote how we should not treat cancer like an angry eating demon but instead treat it like a normal cell that had gone haywire and pacify it and nurse it back to good health. It suddenly hit me that no wonder some people choose to own their cancer and call it "my cancer". I explained to her that Christians don't do that, they do not need to own the cancer as Jesus bore all our sicknesses and sins on the cross 2000 years ago and we need not bear it anymore! Instead, a beautiful exchange took place on the cross where the powers of the enemy was broken and Jesus came to give us good health and as a child of God we have a right to good health! We just need to receive it!

I was quite disturbed after that, to think that if YS were to own the cancer it is like opening the door to the enemy to do more damage in her. I would just reject the cancer in Jesus' name!

That night, amazingly God showed me the answer to the lie of the devil in Proverbs 16:7

"When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD,
         He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him."

See, how truth is distorted? See how the monk's logical conclusion was watered down to half a truth where even cancer can be made at peace with a person.

The truth is when a man's way is pleasing to God, even cancer can be made at peace with him. Let us not take God out of the equation. That night, God showed me scripture that aligned me back to His truth. Praise the Lord!

Today, I read in the Star newspaper about "the power of the mind" by Christina Grant. Many times, people tell me to have a positive mind or they say I have a positive mind. I am not complimented because if I had a positive mind, I would be doing what Christina Grant proposes or what the world proposes which is partial truth and hard work!

Instead, I choose to believe what God says about me.
Amos 3:3 "Do two walk together unless they be agreed?" Unless, I agree what God says about me, how can healing flow to me? Let's go through some of what Christina said and I can show you that God says the same about me and more because He is in control, he is fighting this battle for me.

"The first step is to have an ongoing practice of noticing and managing your thoughts. This isn’t easy to do if you’re addicted to the television culture, where mass media sends a never ending stream of negative concepts into your brain. Or, if you like to get online and read the daily headlines followed by stories of horrific occurrences around the world." (Christina Grant)

Unlike the new age meditation of emptying our minds, I would rather fill my mind with God's words because there is power in His words. I like to say Psalm 63 over and over again and feel his strength.

 6 On my bed I remember you; 
   I think of you through the watches of the night. 
7 Because you are my help, 
   I sing in the shadow of your wings. 
8 I cling to you; 
   your right hand upholds me.

Or psalm 18
 1 I love you, Lord;
      you are my strength.
 2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
      my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
   He is my shield, the power that saves me,
      and my place of safety.
 3 I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise,
      and he saved me from my enemies.
 

Christina continues "Or, if you like to “trauma share” with friends and colleagues about the annoying things that happen to you. "

Precisely, if you keep talking about "my cancer" it would really belong to you and it will never go away. Stop talking, stop thinking about it as if it is yours. Even Henry's claim that the cancer is like the dried up dust blown away when he saw the dandelion can be matched to the bible:

Psalm 18

42 I pulverize them like dust before the wind; 
    I trample them like mud in the streets. 

More from Christina, "In the case of serious physical illness, we might find ourselves in a doctor’s office listening to negative possibilities and statistics that don’t sound promising. Because we are susceptible to these predictions, we often believe the bad news and accept it as fact when it isn’t. This can hinder the ability to heal because the mind is powerful enough to create what it believes. "

That is why when I receive a medical report that is against what God says about me and all he has shown me, I just reject in in Jesus' name. It has no power no dominion over me. What God says about me is greater than what the medical report says. The bible says that no weapon ( no cancer) formed against us shall prosper for this is our heritage in Him and we are to cast down all arguments that set itself up against God's words.

2 Corinthians 10:5

"5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Similarly, we need not be lonely facing cancer if we truly believe that we are a child of God. Even when things go wrong, we can be assured that we fall back into God's arms and his right hand is always upon us and will deliver us from all our troubles. For the bible says, nothing can separate us from the love of God...not even cancer.

"38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

So, it all starts with acknowledging our Creator, the maker of heaven and earth. He will never leave us nor forsake us. Open your heart to Him and He will fill your heart with His love, His life, His spirit that will quicken your mortal body and bring you out of darkness and give you His peace, His love, His joy. :)

Aunty Judy accepts Jesus!

Aunty Judy who supplies e excel products to me and follows my journey has become a Christian! The day she told me, I was rejoicing and gave her a great big hug! It is such a joyous occasion! She said she had so many christian friends trying to reach out to her over many many years and have been following my blog and one day, The holy spirit convicted her heart. Praise the Lord! She is totally transformed and wanting always to share what she has learned. She told me she cried during praise session last Wednesday and asked the lady next to her why she was crying! She was experiencing God, His love, the holy spirit. Praise the Lord! My mum told her if someone were to tell her that before she became a Christian, she would not have believed that this is possible. She has so much joy in her now. And today she shared with a 9 year old boy that recalled the whole bible from Genesis to Revelation. She finds it really useful because her knowledge of the bible is almost zero. Here is the website:

9 year old recaps what he has learned from daily bible reading

http://www.christianchronicle.org/blog/2011/01/video-9-year-old-recaps-what-hes-learned-reading-the-bible/

I pray you will be blessed! :)

Powerful prayer!

I have been on pain killers the past three days. I try not to but it is really uncomfortable and my threshold for pain is so low. I can't even stand the thought of injections. It is only by the grace of God that I have survived all those needle poking sessions! Henry have seen me lying on bed quite pathetically I guess so last night we held hands and prayed together against the powers of the enemy. He prayed for the cancer to be dried up into dust and be blown away and that this pain and Satan will have no power and dominion over me for God has indeed brought me so far. While he prayed, I prayed in tongues so we were all praying in agreement and in spirit.

Henry has been experiencing unusual events of late. He had a dream of him driving up a steep slope and he was wondering if his car would make it u p or even down! But when he reached the top of mountain, it was so peaceful. I told Henry maybe God is asking to spend more quiet times with him and meditate upon Him. Then, while he was surfing in front of the patio overlooking the garden, he suddenly saw dust, like dandelion dust fly past. It was such an unusual sight because we don't have dandelions in the garden. So, he claimed it as the cancer cell turning to dust and being blown away. And that was the same prayer he prayed for me last night!

This morning, I woke up quite different. I actually felt better. My chest is not tight anymore, the achy back is not quite there, even the lymph node pain seem to have gotten lesser. I actually feel better. Praise the Lord! I believe we have gone past over a hurdle and broken the powers of the enemy. I told Henry I sense that God wants us to pray in agreement like last night more often.

I feel like prancing today. I am rejoicing in the Lord. It reconfirms that God was always there for us even though we cannot see Him and darkness overwhelms us yet as we stand on what He has promised us, those promises will be established. And I reminded Henry of God's words to me "be careful, do not be afraid, do not lose heart, the cancer will not rise up against you, it will not happen, it will not take place. Just stand firm on your faith and it will be established". Yes, victory is won. He said "it is done!". I believe, I receive, Father God.

Today, Henry will be picking up the low dose naltrexone and I also have an appointment scheduled at a nearby hospital re the drug. Praise the Lord for His providence and open door. Thank you Lord for everything! :)

Intercessor at Work - Part 2

After I sent out an email on "intercessor at work", I received a reply from Elaine. Praise the Lord! It is really wonderful to see God at work how his angels and how the holy spirit works. It really lifts up my spirit experiencing all God has to offer. We are really living in the supernatural because we are God's children. :) Thanks Elaine for sharing. I am also sure there are many others praying for me as the holy spirit prompts. Praise de Lord! :) and thanks for being the other 30 min partner! Lol

Here's her email:

Hi Liz,
As I read this I am having goose bumps. Pastor Sasha called me yesterday and told me that they decided to pray for you for 30 minutes a day. I understand that they asked you to pray for someone else to pray for you daily for another 30 minutes and then you and Chris together said Elaine! Is that true? lol 

I told Sasha that I am willing to but must get help from God as I am already struggling to wake up at 6.30am to get Brian ready for school ( I used to wake up past 9am) This morning, I suddenly woke up at 5.45am. I couldn't go back to sleep and at 6am I decided to pray for you in tongues. I believe it must be the Holy Spirit who woke me up through Brian. lol

I didn't say out loud, " Elizabeth, I am praying for you now" but I did say in my heart that I will pray for Elizabeth now. Not sure if it is me that you heard :P lol Anyway, I prayed for you till my alarm rang at 6.30am :)

Just wanted to share with you as I read your email.
I will ask God to help me to be discipline to pray for you for 30 minutes daily till we see a miracle :)

Take care my dear friend.
Love ya,Elaine

Additional Supplements

Additional Supplements

Here were some of the supplements I have to top up over and above the supplements I take. Those in brackets are the brand/supplier.

Protein powder (immunex-pro) 
Probiotics (Amway)
Multi vitamins, multi minerals (Double X by Amway) also multi 
                                    concentrate (hyponutrients) from 
                                    17 plants
Fish oil     (Frontiers)
Vitamin C  (Frontiers)
CoQ10 (Maxigene by Frontiers)     
Antioxidant (Peckers by Frontiers)

B complex (Biolife)

Update: Committing to God - low dose naltrexone & nutrition

Proverbs 16:3

'Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed'

When we set out to find a strategy last week, we weren't sure where we were heading. It was either chemo or nutrition, possibly Chinese herbs. There didn't seem to be anything else that impressed upon us. Henry went about fasting and soon he started researching and I started talking to friends about their experience with chemo. Having spoken to Joanne, we realized my body missed out on a lot of supplements. At each point, we would just stop and pray again, praying that He would direct our steps.

Then one night, Henry stumbled on "low dose naltrexone". It is a clever drug that blocks some receptors causing an increased production of endorphins to boost our immune system. It is usually used for drug and alcohol addiction but many cancer patients have also found success using it. Here are some of the websites to read if you are interested in ldn.


One website showing a database of cancer patients using ldn:
https://ldndatabase.dabbledb.com/page/cancer-researchcopy/YhYmJwLB

A cancer discussion group using a variety of drugs include ldn
https://www.inspire.com/groups/lung-cancer-survivors/search/?query=Naltrexone&submit.x=0&submit.y=0

A reading on low dose naltrexone (ldn)
http://www.lowdosenaltrexone.org/

No oncologist will prescribe this drug to cancer patients because medically ldn is not used to treat cancer. That was really sad because it is easily available over the counter with prescription! For the past 2 days, we've been trying to find someone who can assist us and yesterday, we received good news that we can get hold of it very soon!

We were confident that this is an open door that God is leading us to and Henry and I then thanked God and committed this drug, this strategy to Him standing on Proverbs 16:3 that he will grant us success.

Our strategy is basically to allow my body's immune system to build up to hunt down, fight and destroy the layer surrounding the cancer and destroy the cancer completely. Any product that can be build up my immune system will enhance our strategy to fight the cancer. I thank the Lord for allowing Henry to stumble on this drug and for bringing Joanne home to Malaysia at just the right time to chat with me on nutrition. Thank you Lord that you never left us and you were always with us with every step holding our hands. 

God with us.

An intercessor at work!

So sweet, I must also share that this morning while I was asleep, I heard a distinct female voice saying "Elizabeth, I am praying for you now". It was not my voice, it wasn't a dream, just a clear voice. So, I got up and it was 6 something in the morning. I started to pray in tongues and after 15 minutes, i started to be at peace and falling asleep again. I was trying to pray another 15 minutes but then after awhile, I just let go and fell asleep knowing my God would understand me.

Update - researching

Thanks for asking Tony and maybe all of you can help us pray.

Option 1:
Chemo alinta / gemcitabin
They apparently don't have much side effects and not as bad. I am personally praying if this is the option, God will work a miracle to take me through two cycles only and so I can go back on nutrition to build my immune system.

Option 2:
Low dose naltrexone plus nutrition
A clever drug that boosts immune system by artificially making the body release endorphins. Because the drug is cheap nobody tries to push this drug coz actually it is used to inhibit addiction to drugs or alcohol. Our onco said she never heard of the drug but Henry is not surprised she said this. Henry's cousin says she thinks it will be tough to get an onco to prescribe this drug because it is not cancer related. So we are trying to ask several people to help us find out if they can the drug or prescribe it.. So sad, the drug is there but no one to prescribe!

Option 3 nutrition only

Spoke to Joanne chee. We had a good chat with her and received good info from her regarding the supplements I had missed out like protein powder, anti oxidants, coQ 10, vit c, vit b, juicing up to 5-6 times, exercise etc. She is pro no chemo.

If I was feeling good with no pain I would certainly opt for option 3 but there is nagging pain on my back, sometimes there, sometimes not, sometimes like it is going to break out in nerve pain, still coughing sometimes, lympnode pain under my jaw at the right side of neck. So my mind keeps shifting from no chemo to 2 cycles of chemo. Henry thinks since the cancer is aggressive, nutrition will take some time to take effect and I have been on part of the nutrition all this while. King Wai said i have to come before God and decide and i can't be a baby and get Henry to decide for me.

I think it is no harm getting opinions. This morning I read this part in the bible that is so apt:

Psalm 143:7-12

 7 Answer me quickly, LORD;
   my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
   or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
   for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
   for to you I entrust my life.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, LORD,
   for I hide myself in you.
10 Teach me to do your will,
   for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
   lead me on level ground.

 11 For your name’s sake, LORD, preserve my life;
   in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
   destroy all my foes,
   for I am your servant.

And so I started to pray in tongues. Yesterday ps Sasha and ps Chris came to pray for me and she is so sweet, she is dedicating 30 mins of her time everyday to pray in the spirit for me. She asked me to find someone else to pray for me for 30 mins daily too like manner. There is this book by Duch Sheet called 'intercessory prayer' where his wife had a cyst the size of a ping pong ball and needed surgery but he asked the doctor to give him time before operating. The doc gave them 2 months and if it is still there, she must be operated on. He prayed everyday 5 mins in understanding and the rest, just travailing in prayer in the spirit for 55 mins and now and then he would have visions of God's hand squeezing the cyst and crushing it. After one week, the wife would say the pain is getting lesser, second week lesser and third week, the pain left her and the fourth week, went to see the doc and doc said the cyst is no longer there! Praise the lord! Inspired by this she is dedicating 30 mins in the spirit for me. Oh, the power of prayer. It really encouraged me more to pray in tongues and this morning while exercising, I just continuously prayed in the spirit. I know wonderful things happen when we pray in the spirit because we communicate to God spirit to spirit and not head to spirit.

So, I need to decide. It shouldn't be so tough knowing He loves me so much. It is the pain but now I have exercised and praised Him, I don't feel the pain so much. That should be the way. I will keep pressing in in the spirit. Father God, I commit even this research of the low dose naltrexone and its availability into your hands. Show Henry and I clearly o lord, where we should go, direct our paths Lord for to you we entrust our lives. Rescue me o lord from this cancer, silence my enemies o Lord. I bind and break every cancer every work of darkness assigned to me in Jesus name. O Lord, let your healing flow Lord, let your healing flow. Strengthen me by the power of your Holy Spirit into my spirit man, quicken my entire being O Lord, in Jesus' name. Amen.

Update - no pain!

Thank u so much for all your prayers. Things have been falling together since my last blog this morning, all glory to God. First I found the pain killer but I don't think it did much. Then I called hamir n he was at lake gardens praying for me n he was so happy I called at the right time. So he sang songs to God, sensed my hopelessness and discouragement, prayed for me in understanding and in tongues n I just sensed God's presence after that. So he told me to put down the phone n just continue enjoying his presence. I continued praising Him but it was tough w my croaky voice but I just persevered n then i broke down n cried n my mum stepped into the house just then n prayed w me. Then Henry stepped in with painkillers from dr foo SJMC n I took them and mum gave me dr xenegy by Elken to relieve the bloated stomach. Then mrs gong whom I met at elpizo called me n prayed w me and gave me some scripture to meditate on n then I slept so well coz the drug took effect.

Now I am feeling good, absolutely no pain, I've let out a lot of air because of dr xenegy product and I had such a good rest and I am bright n chirpy now n wanting to praise God! My mum said it is like magic. A 180 degree turn. All praise n glory to God who loves us so!

Update - pain

Nerve pain at back, twitching, so difficult to find the right position to sleep. Chest tight. This morning feels like stomach cramp too. Oh,
it's terrible. Continued to stand on His word and bind and break the cancer. Told Henry whatever we're deciding on, we should act fast and
commit to God first. We pray that we can locate the supplier of some low dose naltrexone. I am not sure what to do with all this pain, whether there is some pain killer to take. But I suspect it is also fear setting in and I have it keep focussing on God. I had nerve pain before and i t normally goes away after I sleep it off but last night was particularly rough for me. I don't want to rush in for chemo
because of the pain coz I know that is wrong. Whatever it is we need to commit to God first. That naltrexone drug is an interesting find with good outcome and has lifted my spirit. At least I won't have to take chemo but not sure if we can find the supplier. Please pray for
Henry as he tries. We asked God for open doors and closed doors so we can easily decide. Please pray my pain will subside - chest, cough,
back pain, stomach cramp.

I found several verses that encouraged us on how leads our steps. :)

Psalm 37:23-24

"The LORD makes firm the steps 
   of the one who delights in him; 
though he may stumble, he will not fall, 
   for the LORD upholds him with his hand"

Proverbs 16:3

Commit your works to the LORD
         And your plans will be established. 

Proverbs 16:7

When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD,
         He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. 

Proverbs 16:9

The mind of man plans his way,
         But the LORD directs his steps. 

2 chronicles 26:5

He sought God during the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God. As long as he sought the LORD, God gave him success.

Spirit of Stubbornness

1 Samuel 15:23

"Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols. So because you have rejected the command of the LORD, he has rejected you as king."

The morning after my ct scan, my cousin Tammy called me and she had some hard sayings for me to digest. She said she sensed from God on the day of ct scan that it wasn't going to be good. The only time I had bad vibes was going under a bridge toward SJMC and it had this big billboard that said "kanser". Can someone please tear it down? It is like speaking death 24 7.

Anyway, she had wanted to tell me months ago but was not sure whether to say it as it may discourage me and she prayed about it and even with Richard before telling me. She sensed God saying that there is a spirit of stubbornness within me, as I was stubborn so even the cancer has grown stubborn. She sensed it may be because I was going back to work. Anyway, she told me to go before the Lord and see if there was any areas in my life that I have not surrendered totally to Him. I wasn't angry and when she put down the phone and approached God I started to cry. I was sorry I tried to do things my way and I started thinking of what I did.

Even when He had a purpose for me as a mission family and to teach bible class and he called me an able vessel, I went back to work instead to try to share my testimonies to my colleagues thinking maybe this time I might be successful to share Jesus with some of them. 

But my cousin reminded me that if it wasn't God's timing, it would be ineffective to even reach out to my colleagues. God has entrusted to me a few people to reach out to and these are the ones that I should hear from His spirit how to minister to them. It is when I reach out to these people, just the little that I do, I see God's awesome power and all glory just goes to Him. 

And here I was trying to do things my way because I also felt I could do with the extra income to cover my expenses mainly the car so that I could travel for classes. At one point Henry suggested selling off my car. Yet, God had already provided me monthly Socso contribution if I should have to stop work. And did He also not tell me through strangers that He would prosper me financially and it did materialize recently? Is He not God who loves us and provides for us? We only need to act on His prompting and obey and in that little subtle move, I had failed.  

I felt sad that I had anguished God's heart and I felt His rebuke and I asked for His forgiveness but not without much pain and crying.

As I reached my mum's house, my mum asked if everything is alright and I shook my head and said very downcast almost in tears, "No, God is rebuking me". At that moment, Sue Shiew smsed me a prayer and I shared with her what I was going through and she said to know where we had gone wrong and move on and delve in it no more. At the moment when I felt condemned (and i knew it was not like God to condemn me (discipline yes)), He sent people to my side to tell me so. Thanks Sue for listening to the Holy Spirit.

We can't deceive God. He knows our secret thoughts and our motives, He knows our real motives for wanting to plant a mega church, why we do not want to reconcile with our brothers, why we drink and party, why we work so late, why we stay to wee hours in the morning on the Internet, even why we are evangelizing at work INSTEAD OF of obeying Him. God wants his people to have obedient hearts and He is not interested in people who do religious works or sacrifices.

I know He has forgiven me because of His word in 1 John 1:9

'9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.'

...not only forgive my sins but to purify me from all unrighteousness. 

That night I flipped open the bible and saw this passage from Psalm 38 staring at me and this was the anguish I felt and also I realized now there was no health in my body during the period of His rebuke. I had been slowly creeping back to my old ways of wanting to do things my way rather than listen to His promptings.

Psalm 38:1-7

O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your wrath.
For your arrows have pierced me,
and your hand has come down upon me.
Because of your wrath there is no health in my body;
my bones have no soundness because of my sin.
My guilt has overwhelmed me
like a burden too heavy to bear.
My wounds fester and are loathsome
because of my sinful folly.
I am bowed down and brought very low;
all day long I go about mourning.
My back is filled with searing pain;
there is no health in my body.

I went for a healing praise at EFC in SS 1 PJ the following night and I just poured my heart out to Him. I felt Him respond when Ps Leon quoted Psalm 91:14

'Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name'

I shared my testimony of where I was at since the last time I visited them, how the tumor shrank and recently became aggressive and also the spirit of stubbornness and wanting to do things my way. They prayed for me and in their prayer I heard again of His forgiveness because of Jesus' blood, that He wants to do deeper things in me as He is looking for a pure heart and He is preparing His work in me. They too reminded me that God cannot be deceived.

I realize that God's spirit works mightily to transform us from within if only we allow Him to. That first night at the hospital when God said "Don't say you are only a child" from Jeremiah 1, I knew how far off I went from obeying Him and I sought His forgiveness then. It is much more painful when God uses others to rebuke us but we must be humble to listen and to obey SO THAT he can use us as a vessel for what He has purposed for us before we were even born. 

If we do things our own way, it is less effective and we can't reach our full potential compared to if we follow His spirit and just move where He moves us to next. 

I pray my little subtle sin will help you also come before God and ask Him to help you find out the areas in your life you need to surrender to Him. Now, that is a very hard word to me - 'surrender'. I asked God to show me how and to guide me how to surrender to Him, to be humble to Him and His word, to submit and to yield to His spirit.

Thank you!

Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers. There is peace in my heart, unnerved by the news yesterday of additional 2 spots in liver and a few more in my lungs. I walk by faith and not by sight. Actually, I discover that this verse of 1 Corinthians 5 a very powerful scripture. :) I just stand on his promise to me just as how Abraham stood on the promise God gave him. He didn't have the resources and I don't quite know what the strategy to take. He was old and his wife barren while my medical report shows bad news. Quite a similar walk. :) I looked at the sky today to look for Him, a heart maybe? But I saw S Y hmmmm, the first person that came to my mind was Sook Yian. She is coughing and so I prayed for her to recover and prayed for the baby within her too. God is good. :) then I saw a smiley face just like the last time and then I saw a figure with an outstretched arm like an angel or a man. I prayed for angels to pave the way before us as Henry and I search for answers. I pondered how I can see stuff in the sky when I am desperate but not otherwise and the difference I felt was because I long so much to see Him, I wait longer compared as how we're always on the go when things are alright. So, do wait upon the Lord this morning and he will show u great things. :) He is really an encouraging Father.

Do pray for me this morning as I make my way to office to tell my boss that I have to stop work. Spoke to my mum and Henry yesterday and all felt it is a good move to make to recover. Pray also that God will open doors for Henry and I to learn more about the chemo drug that the doctor advised us to take (alinta or gemcitabin) and other alternative treatment. 

B-L-E-S-S

I found the following question and prayer for ourselves or others using the acronym B-L-E-S-S in the website http://powertochange.com/blogs/experience/
It helped me today and I pray it will help you too.

Questions: Do you feel uncomfortable praying for yourself? What is hindering your prayer life? Pray the following prayer with the blanks filed in sometime today.

BODY – Lord, thank you for my health. Please strengthen me physically today. Ease the tension in my shoulders and head. Give me wisdom to take care of myself wisely. Help me to be disciplined in what I eat and give me determination to exercise today. Protect me as I go about my day. Thank you that You are a shield around me. I need Your help today especially with __________________.

LABOR – Father God, I give You all my efforts today. You know where I work hard and You know where I slack off and procrastinate. Help me focus today. Help my mind to retain what I study. Bless my efforts today. Help me to prioritize the important things in my life. Multiply my efforts and may my accomplishments be fruitful.  Thank you that my weak points are the very entry point for Your strength. Fill me with Your Spirit and help me today to _____________________.

EMOTIONS – Lord, You alone know how I can so easily be dragged by my emotions instead of being led by Your Spirit. Today I bring to You the areas within my heart that feel unstable and shaky. Thank you that You are my Rock today. You give me a firm place to stand. Give me self-confidence that is rooted in You. Help me to feel encased in Your peace today and to trust You completely with __________________.

SOCIAL – Father God, bless my friendships and lead me into purposeful friendships with others who seek You. Give me strength to distance myself from social situations that could draw my heart away from You. Fill my lonely places with the assurance of Your presence. Be with the woman You have chosen for me and bless and protect her today. Help her with whatever she is facing and draw her close to You. Bring me a friend to encourage and one who will encourage me. Today I pray a blessing on ________________.

SPIRITUAL GROWTH – Lord, help me to trust You and to depend on You. It’s so easy to try to lean on my own understanding. Help me to sense Your presence with me today. Give me a strong desire to read Your Word. Help me to understand what You are saying to me. Show me what needs to be cleansed in my heart and life today. I ask Your forgiveness for ____________________. Give me a deep desire to draw near to You and to make time to quiet myself so I can hear You speak.

Thank you Lord, that You are in my life. I depend on You today.  Thank you that, with expectation, I can trust You with every detail. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Maid headache

Maid headache

Yesterday we had our own trouble with our maid but this time it was the agency that let us down. Our maid was sent to the agency to renew her visa but instead of sending our maid back to us, they asked her to take a taxi back home ( with her passport)! We thought it was so unprofessional of them because there has been so many cases of maids running away, even without passports - what more with passports.

Henry came home fuming mad, kids were wailing, Nic missed kakak Sadiah, Ethan missed the maid before her and so there were tears and anger in the home. Also, Ethan punched Nic's eye which was the real reason why he was crying ie. out of guilt! As i put Nic and Ethan to bed, i could still hear Henry's angry voice going on and on and on.....with the agency I guess.

I would normally go with the flow and also blame the agency but now I see trials like this is an opportunity to draw closer to God and to tap on His divine power, to see His power at work and to thank Him for delivering us once again. So, we prayed for God's hand to be upon us, we bound and broke all devil at work scheming to take our maid away from us, we cast down all the arguments, the plans of the devil that rises up against God's will for our family. We prayed for thousands upon thousands on angels to go to Sadiah's midst, to do battle with the devil and to guide Sadiah home to us. We prayed we would trust in God and not go with our emotions knowing that He will deliver us from all our troubles in Jesus' name.

I could still hear Henry say over the phone to the agency "Lari means larilah, there is no point to wait till tomorrow" (lari= run away). That was the hopelessness that was in our house yesterday.

But at 5.30 am this morning, Henry came downstairs and said "Looks like God has answered our prayers" and showed me a sms from our maid. According to her, she swears by God that she fainted last night while catching a cab and thankfully managed to call a friend to help her before she passed out and she would be coming home this morning!

Praise the Lord! Thank you Jesus! I asked the boys to thank Jesus and we prayed again for angels with swords of fire to be around Sadiah to guide her home to us. That roused Ethan's interest as he demonstrated how it is done. I told Ethan "Isn't Jesus so powerful?" and he nodded.

Two nights ago, Henry had a dream that he could not open his eyes and he felt suppressed. He said he told the devil that the God who is in Him is greater than he in the world and he woke up. But he shared that he thinks it was because he was too tired. There are many nights that we are tired but these things don't happen all the time. I pray we will recognize the evil forces at work. That was a dream from the devil to steal, kill and destroy and last night, it attempted to do just that. Actually, what Henry and I should have done was to pray in agreement just like last night to reject the devil and to break the power of the enemy in Jesus' name so that yesterday's episode won't happen or if it still happened, we know that God is in control because we had already said the prayer and we know, without getting too worked up, that He will deliver us.

For me, I pondered how the devil always has some nasty trick up its sleeves before my hospital scan - to kill, steal and destroy whatever joy that God has in store for us. Today, I can expect victory in God no matter what the ct scan shows this morning at SJMC because we overcame darkness by trusting in God last night and also because whoever hopes in the Lord shall not be disappointed. They say the greater the spiritual attack, the greater the blessing that is coming our way!

I continue to walk by faith and not by sight. I continue to hold on to my rhema of Isaiah 7 that the cancer will not rise up, it will not happen, it will not take place. It will be too shattered and I only need to stand firm in my faith and it will be established. I claim that by Jesus' stripes I am healed. I claim that God sent His word and is healing me right now. I claim that His word brings life and health to my flesh and I ask for the holy spirit, the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead to quicken my entire body. Oh my soul, praise the Lord! My lungs, my every cell and pore of my body, receive God's healing right now as it is being poured out from my spirit, into my soul and into my body. I thank you Jesus. I believe, i receive your healing. In Jesus' name. Amen.

When You Eat and Are Satisfied

Deuteronomy 6:10-12

"10 When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery."

I used to read this passage from a third party view of what God is warning to the people of Israel but now I understand better that most of what is written in Deuternomy can be applied to our daily lives.

For example, a few months ago I read this passage:

Deuteronomy 1:6-7
"6 The LORD our God said to us at Horeb, “You have stayed long enough at this mountain. 7 Break camp and advance into the hill country of the Amorites; go to all the neighboring peoples in the Arabah, in the mountains, in the western foothills, in the Negev and along the coast, to the land of the Canaanites and to Lebanon, as far as the great river, the Euphrates."

Suddenly I felt God was telling me that this is the season to leave the cancer episode behind (the mountain), break camp and move on and so going back to work and sharing my testimonies made sense to me that it really was what God was moving me into - a time of good works be it intercession, helping in Sunday school or sharing testimonies in the real world. But then, my mum was concerned that I was not going to survive the recycled air in the office or the viruses from my sick colleagues and doubts started to set in and I wasn't sure whether I was going to survive the first week but I did! Praise the Lord!

This morning, I am beginning to see that even Deuteronomy 6:10-12 is concerning our lives. We mustn't forget that He provides -flourishing cities, houses filled with all kinds of good things, even things that we did not dig or plant ourselves. And when we eat and are satisfied, we must not forget that it was the Lord who brought us out of "Egypt". Last year there were 3 specific word of knowledge spoken over my life that God would prosper me financially. Each time i would roll my eyes because I've been taught to be good steward of money and warned of prosperity gospel. One of them specifically said she saw stacks of thousand dollar cash floating around me. It was just getting so obvious that I told God that if He really wanted to bless me, then I will receive it and I claim it in Jesus' name! Then recently, my mum's family received their inheritance from a property sale. I did not expect anything to flow down to me so it was a windfall when my mum said she would set aside a sum for me to purchase e excel products. Praise the Lord! This sum practically fell from the sky! In a recent episode, Henry shared he didn't feel so guilty now that he read that Steve Jobs received a salary of USD 52 million dollars last year! I told him that the extra sum that God provided for Henry in the job he is holding currently is a blessing from God and nothing that he did, (or like Deuteronomy 1:6-7 says) "dug" or "planted".

It is becoming clearer to me that when we stay close to God, blessings will just flow, all kinds of blessings including finances. For often, we have been reminded to look at the Giver and shun the gifts but it really is a Father's heart to bless us when we seek Him. It is like the saying of Matthew 6:33 that says "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you". It is a total package of the Giver and His gifts as he encourages us in our walk with Him. But in all times, we must be humble to acknowledge that all we have is from Him.

Thank you Lord for reminding me this morning not to forget You when You provide us with blessings of all kinds. For everything is from You even the jobs we hold. You made it happen Lord! Thank You so very much for your many blessings and for encouraging us as we walk in You. Even when circumstances seem dark, it becomes mere shadow as You shower Your love on us in so many ways - friends and family that support us, encouraging visions and dreams, providing for our needs and even beyond our needs. Thank You Lord for everything.

Happy Chinese New Year!

"Xin Nian Kuai Le"

Recipe - vege fruit juice

Tried this concoction of vege fruit juice this morning. Yummy to me so I am recording this down so I can do it again some time.

Small bit of beet root
1/4 carrot
1 cabbage
2 leaves of butter head lettuce
1/2 cucumber
1 small knob of ginger
1 apple
1 banana

Nice! :)

Rejoice in the Lord Always

Philippians 4:4
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Psalm 100:4
"Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name."


This morning I woke up with the word "rejoice" in my head and so I started with songs rejoicing in the Lord..

Rejoice in the Lord (by Evelyn Tarner)

Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice 2x
Rejoice, rejoice and again I say rejoice 2x


I will enter his gates ( by Gwen R Shaw)

I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart
I will enter His courts with praise
For this is the day that the Lord has made
Let us rejoice for He has made me glad

He has made me glad, he has made me glad 
I will rejoice for he has made me glad
He has made me glad, he has made me glad 
I will rejoice for he has made me glad

I was reading about the 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit and the 9 gifts of the holy spirit. I came to the one about tongues and how when we speak in tongues of men and angels (1 corinthians 13:1), we utter mysteries with our spirit to God which no one understands  (1 Corinthians 14:2). I  was encouraged and started to pray in tongues and suddenly I thought of my church and I told myself I will press on in tongues praying for my church until something happens.

After a while in tongues, i asked for thousands upon thousands of angels to come to our church to destroy all the evil spirits within my church. I felt compelled to raise my hands and then, I felt His love pour down, the Holy Spirit pour down on my church and on me and then I started to cry. Hmmmm, crying in tongues. I did not want to let go of Him so I pressed on. Then I heard "silence". So i said "what is it Lord?". And this is what I sensed Him say,

"Tell them I love them,
I will pave the way and they will see My Light and My glory.
Stay close to me and I will show the way"

And my heart was filled with so much love that is started to cry out "thank you" and "I love you Lord" to God over and over again. It just never seemed to end but when it did I sensed His awesome, love, peace and joy. Yes, joy! Let us rejoice in the Lord in anticipation of His help! Let us rejoice in Him always!

Update: First Day Back at Work

Psalm 18; 20-24 (The Message)


God made my life complete
when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I got my act together,
he gave me a fresh start.
Now I'm alert to God's ways;
I don't take God for granted.
Every day I review the ways he works;
I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together,
and I'm watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life
when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.


Praise the Lord! Thus far, all is well. I am constantly eating and drinking though to ensure all the nutrients go in and I've got a little window open for some fresh air to come in. My dear boss has offered to help ease me by not passing me any professional work so I will just focus on the administrative part. I was handling a bit of both before and when I left, I heard they formed a few groups of people to handle the admin part. Pretty amazing! Now, they can't wait to pass it back to me!

I didn't prepare enough food for lunch so I had to go out for some vege meal to get filled. Thank God for the little snacks I brought along such as crackers, apples, grain bars and health drinks. It has been wonderful to get back to work and to meet all my peers and bosses. Just need to be careful that I get out into the open to breath some fresh air.

Thank you Lord for first day at work, thank you for the strength that you gave me today, thank you for all the help you gave me in planning for my lunch and dinner. Thank you for the rain shower and the cool breeze today. Thank you for the easy work load and the flexibility of time given to me. Thank you Lord for everything. I feel put together and am watching my step. :)

The cross in my life

Woke up this morning at 3 am and something inside me said 'Go downstairs, i have something exciting to show you'. Normally I would go because I would sense God calling me and prompting me by the holy spirit but I wanted to continue sleeping. Alas, Nic woke up, went to toilet and later was sniffling and I helped clear his snort and relieve him with eucalyptus oil. Then, I thought, alright i might as well go downstairs. I don't know how I landed on these sermons but I am so blessed this morning for i know I would miss this morning's sermon in church because i will be helping out in Sunday school and I know I have to be careful from now on not be spiritually dry again.

I pray you too will be blessed by these sermons by Derek Prince. There are 4 parts to the sermon 'The Cross in MY Life'. It  opened my eyes again to the curse I had fallen to, and how i had fallen from grace before I returned to the cross. He talks about us as christians and the problems in church today, touching on legalism, talking about law vs grace, our application after God making a way for us etc. There are many scripture verses so take out your bible, pen and paper! 

The cross in my life part 1

The cross in my life part 2

The cross in my life part 3

The cross in my life - part 4